Not so mediocre

I can't really go into details because I don't want to reveal too much of what's going on with someone else, but today I learned something:

I am not a chump for doing what I am doing. Other people notice what I'm doing, how hard I work, and though they don't say anything, apparently I am being favorably compared to other people.

And apparently I am doing several things very right with my teaching.

But yeah. I am very ready to be done with meetings. (I have one more this week - Gen Ed council, which won't be too bad, other than that it's just having to be in a room at a particular time and having to be around other people).

I will say earlier today I was kind of unhappy and worn-out because another thing happened that reminded me of how some people always get walked-on-eggshells around and their feelings worried about and not hurt, and that sometimes I feel like I am not treated with a similar concern and delicacy.

Then again: as I said on Twitter, I probably don't want it to be that way for that reason. I think of myself as *profoundly* sensitive and easily-hurt, but the thing is: I don't lash out when I am. I am much more likely to stand there when I am being criticized (even unfairly criticized) and not say anything, and do my best possible to will myself not to react (Ironically enough: to, in the bad old military-flavored lingo, "take it like a man") and then afterward go off and cry in private or sort of draw in on myself (I have described it in the past as being like when a marine biologist pokes a sea anemone with a glass rod, and it pulls in all its tentacles, in defensive mode, and that's how I picture it).

But yes. There are people I know who go and dump on other people, or rage at them, or yell, when they are hurting. Even when - in one case, especially when - it's not THAT person who hurt them. Or when it's something intended as constructive criticism. And I don't like that. And I also don't like that other people are holding back on constructive criticism of that person for those reasons. Oh, I get it. And I don't like being yelled at for things like that. But yeah....as much as I hate being criticized and as much as it hurts, I guess I would rather hear the criticism than have people tiptoeing around me, not wanting to upset me.

(Though I'd really rather it be some variant of, "Nononono, you don't prank Fluttershy, she's too sensitive" than "But if you anger Unikitty, she will blow up with rage!")

But yeah. Even though it means going out this evening I am looking forward to Bell Choir because it is some of the more positive interaction I get in a week. And it will be nice to kind of stuff all the stuff that happened today back into a compartment in my head labeled "You don't need to think about this now"