Fifty things post

In honor of me turning fifty today. (This post will have been composed over several days, because I need time to think of the things).

I know I often get down on myself; I tend to be a perfectionist and also I think that shadow of being a bullied kid affects me. But really, there are a lot of things about myself I DO like/love, and I think I'm going to try to see if I can come up with a list of 50 different good things about me. (Some of these may be a bit, as we say in the academic-writing world, "salami slicing" - taking one big thing and separating it into smaller narrower categories). But here goes, in no particular order other than how I started thinking of them:

1. Someone on Ravelry, when I was complaining about how what I did felt like so little, like it was a drop of kindness in an ocean of meanness, said "No, I think of what you do as more of a firehose of kindness" and that made me cry a little bit in a good way because that's really how I'd like to be remembered and it's something I try to do.

2. I am good at solving problems because I tend to keep my head and not get upset.

3. When I am at my best, I can sigh and be calm with the shopclerk/receptionist/service person who is being a little ditzy and not doing things correctly; I am good at telling myself, "They probably had a long day, or there's something they are worrying about"

4. I have hung on to the good parts of my inner seven-year-old: a sense of fun and even wonder, a love of silly little things. That's partly why I still love stuffed animals.

5. I am good at finding good presents for people on gift-giving occasions and doing that is something I enjoy.

6. My sense of humor tends to be kind, and tends to lean more to the "absurd things that happen"/"really bad puns that people still laugh at"/"funny cat pictures" end of the spectrum. I know how to make people laugh without hurting their feelings.

7. I am a person of faith, but I tend more to use that as a guide for how *I* should live my life than to prescribe to anyone else how they should live theirs. I also try to take it seriously and look out for contradictions between how I "talk" and how I "walk." I am not perfect; no one is. But at least I try.

8. I have a good sense of color. I am good at picking out fabrics/clothing/whatever that go well together. Which is probably why I like piecing quilt tops.

9. I can learn some skills really fast.

10. Usually you only have to explain to me how to do something once.

11. I am pretty independent and am good at figuring things out on my own.

12. I am curious. Often times I wind up learning something new because I see something else and go "Huh. I wonder...."

13. And I like learning. I enjoy learning new stuff, it makes me happy. Whether it's a language, or some interesting historical or scientific fact, or a skill.

14. I am the kind of person who will do something for you if I say I will. I don't promise to show up for something and then not. And I get stuff done (almost always) within the set deadling.

15. I am on time for stuff. I don't like to make people wait around so I am sure to be on time.

16. I may keep people a little bit at arm's length (people tell me I can be hard to get to know), but once I am your friend, I will be super-loyal to you.

17. I am good at working hard. I actually like some kinds of hard physical work - like brushcutting, for example, and have done that as a volunteer work in the past.

18. I am a pretty good cook.

19. I am very good at learning and identifying different species. I used to mainly just know plants but more recently I've learned a number of insects and soil invertebrates, and I guess I know more birds than the average non-ornithologist.

20. I am still pretty good at spelling. I was a spelling-bee geek back in the day.

21. I have a large vocabulary, thanks to having read a great deal (and having read broadly) during my life.

22. I'm pretty good at prioritizing, though this sometimes means important-but-not-urgent things go undone.

23. I have a good auditory memory; I can usually recognize pieces of music

24. I am good at juggling a lot of different tasks. Maybe too good, because it often seems like I have too much on my plate.

25. I'm good at public speaking and it doesn't bother me to do it.

26.  I am considerate of other people's feelings. I don't "tease" or make what I perceive as mean jokes to other people even if they might be someone who would tolerate them because I don't like that kind of joking myself.

27. I'm a pretty good listener.

28.I can be "game" to do things I've never done before (Bell Choir) even sometimes when I'm afraid I won't be very good at them.

29. I'm pretty driven to finish things (eventually.) (Even things that have me going, man, this is hard, like coming up with 21 more things on this list...)

30. I am good at being patient on the outside even if I am internally screaming, either because the person is on a hobby horse that is unrelated to the meeting topic, or a student is being super-anxious and asking me questions I know they already know the answer to.

31. I have a broad diversity of interests. I am not one of those people who has their little realm of expertise and then doesn't care about, say, history, because they're a biologist.

32. I'm pretty good at rising above things. When people are getting down in the dirt, when they're looking for ways to hurt someone or to day negative things about them, I usually tend to either walk away or try to change the topic.

33. I came back from being asked to leave my first graduate program to successfully completing not just a Master's degree, but a Ph.D. at another place (which was ultimately probably a better place for me). I can be tenacious when I want to be.

34. I'm a good teacher. I seem to be good at explaining things in a way that helps other people understand.

35. I try to take people as they are. I'm not generally "thrown" by some of the different things about a person that some people my age sometimes are (e.g., someone who is genderfluid). I think a big part of this is I don't want people to feel uncomfortable and so I do my best to understand people, even if I might not fully understand their situation.

36. I'm good at doing a lot of things: I can cook, I can do minor repairs around my house, I know how to fix a lot of things at work, I know basically how cars work even if I usually go to a mechanic to get maintenance on mine. I was raised not to be helpless and I really am not, and I take some pride in that.

37. I am good at figuring out the right search terms to find things like journal articles in the databases.

38. I can comfortably talk to a wide diversity of people, not just fellow academics

39. I strive to be kind and to see the other person as a person and not an obstacle - so, for example, if a checkout person moves a little slowly, I can (when I am at my best) go "Well, they are probably tired, their job is harder than mine is in a lot of ways." I am good at giving people the benefit of the doubt.

40. I am good at keeping my own counsel and not "sticking an oar in" when it's a situation where I either don't know the whole story, or I feel like I don't have anything to say that would advance matters.

41. I am good at picking clothing that is flattering on me, which is something because I'm sort of between "athletic" and "chunky" in  build, so a lot of the stuff that looks good on thinner smaller women might not look so good on me.

42. I am good at making things.

43. I have a really good memory for a lot of things: not just an auditory memory for music, but I remember things I have read, I learn well, I remember things like how the by-laws of groups I am in work; I am good sometimes at that kind of detail work.

44. I don't litter, and I have never been a litterbug. I am more likely to be the person picking up litter (even if I grumble about it a little bit).

45. I am good at budgeting and being frugal when I need to be, or not using an excessive amount of resources. I tend to be pretty conservation-minded.

46. I'm good at things like taking notes; I often wind up taking the minutes in meetings because I have the skill of being able to simultaneously listen and write.

47. I am imaginative. A lot of times I use this for self-comfort, for example, telling myself some elaborate story or doing something like imagining my "perfect house" (if I were building one from scratch) at night when I cannot get to sleep easily.

48. I like most animals (aggressive dogs excepted) and nice animals - like people's cats or like friendly dogs - seem to like me, and I take that as a good thing.

49. I am generally pretty good at coming up with solutions to problems, or sometimes peacemaking between people (even though I hate doing that).

50. I am very healthy. Part of this may be that I strive to eat healthfully and exercise, but a bigger part is probably lucky genes and also the fact that I am somewhat of a hermit (and don't get exposed to as many viruses).

Wow. That got hard towards the end - hard to come up with that many things.