Monday morning things

* Today is the 33rd anniversary of the space shuttle Challenger explosion. (I had forgotten that Judith Resnick, one of the people on board, was Ohio's first woman astronaut, but the Ohio History feed I read reminded me).

I remember this event well. It was one of those "where were you" things. I was a junior in high school. One of my friends came up to me in the hall and told me about the explosion, and I remember my first reaction (picturing things like the launchpad fires of some rockets) was "But they got the astronauts out safely, didn't they?" and she just sadly shook her head. I also remember one of the art teachers with a tiny black and white tv set up in his room, trying to watch the news coverage.

(And years and years later, a similar situation, on Sept. 11, 2001, with all of us in the secretary's office, clustered around a little old black and white tv with aluminum foil on the rabbit ears - that was before the analog to digital switch; we would not be able to do that now, but of course now there'd likely be streaming news online)

I also remember they stopped right before lunch and had a moment of silence - we all ate lunch in the dining hall, and this being a private school, we were all expected to eat what the cooks prepared (no carrying your own lunch, which I would likely have done had it been permitted. And I wonder now, in these days of heightened understanding about food allergies, food sensitivities, and special diets, if they let students do that now).

* I came in this morning to an e-mail with the title of one of my recent publications as a subject line. At first I thought: oh hey, could someone be requesting a reprint? (But I think it's one that's free online). Nope. It was a VERY cheery, I dare say EXCESSIVELY cheery e-mail, inviting me to come and speak at a conference in the UK in September.

Record scratch, freeze frame: Why am I, an absolute NOBODY (I am not the most known or reknown American researcher in ANY field) be being invited to an "international" conference?

They wanted an abstract, a title, a short biography, and a photo (?!?!). No deadline listed, some vague reference to "first round of approval"

The guy sending out the call for conference was in a totally different part of the world than where the conference was (that's not SO weird but) he also didn't have an institutional affiliation listed by his name - just a building somewhere in Dubai.

So: A crummy predatory conference. Son of a....

Yeah, so I wound up sending that e-mail to where the goblins go, and blocking sender. But you know? It makes me sad that nearly every time my professional work gets praise, it turns out it's someone trying to scam me.

So I quickly made this up using some "free tattoo font" website, but yes, I think sadly this is a lesson adulthood has taught me hard:

Yes, that's sad, but I have come to regard criticism as Valid (or at least: requiring very careful consideration, because sometimes even unfair criticism contains an element of truth). And all too often, praise I am given is not because I have done something genuinely praiseworthy* but because the person either wants to finagle me into doing something for them, or because they're trying to out-and-out defraud me and are trying to play on my ego.

Well, joke's on them: Just like the sad old Peter Sellers joke (from the Muppet Show) about how he had the 'real him' surgically removed, over the years I've had most of my ego surgically removed. So I tend to be immediately suspicious of anything that seems like praise.

(*My Inner Critic hastens to note: "Maybe you haven't done anything praiseworthy in a while.")

* Well, I got an e-mail back on the problem I referred to last week. No satisfaction and not even a real apology - a claim that 'your chair should have known and should have told you' and I am QUITE sure that she didn't know, based on a conversation we had late last week about it, but, whatever.

I like my work in the sense of liking teaching, but some of the dealing-with bureaucracy stuff just gets me down so much.


* Also, even though I guess I've been "taught" at this point to be suspicious of praise (at least from those I don't know WELL), I've decided another little resolution - which is something I already kinda do - is Be The Positivity You Want To See When Interacting With People Online. So, if someone posts a photo they took, and it's a really nice photo and well-done, I'll let them know. Or if someone writes a good pattern, I'll comment about how it's good.

Part of the way to deal with trolls is not to feed the trolls, but another part is for the people who are....I don't know what the competing mythological creature here might be? Unicorn? Friendly dragon*? Fairy? Good Dwarf? - to be more vocal in trying to make the internet more friendly. (Of course that's too big of an effort for one person...)

(*Yes, in my personal mythology, there are such things. Look at Spike. Look at Kenneth Grahame's Reluctant Dragon....)

But anyway: there are some studies out there showing a large portion of "trolling" comes from a fairly small group but exceptionally vocal and unpleasant group of people. (I suppose maybe it's a little helpful to remember that, but then again, like the old t-shirt about nuclear war: It can only take one troll to REALLY ruin your day, especially if it's the doxxing/SWATting/other potentially dangerous-to-you-behavior sort.