Current mood :(

So late afternoon hit hard: all of a sudden, I felt tired and sort of non-specifically sad. (Probably let down after the semester, but it always catches me unawares and surprises me when it happens: I should be HAPPY. My grades are in, nobody did terribly worse than I expected they would, a few people did better than I had feared they would. My syllabi are done and I've even made some progress towards packing for my travel Monday.

So I needed a simple dinner. The other thing is: I wasn't very hungry (I had a bigger lunch, and a bit later). So I thought: pancakes. Then I thought: You have a box of a mix on the shelf, you haven't used it in a while.

So I pulled it out, mixed them up, easy enough. I admit I was slightly taken aback that I'd not put the bag inside the box inside a ziplock bag, but I figured it was OK.

Cooked up the pancakes, sat down to eat them. Looked at the pancake I had cut into and eaten a bite or two of. "Hm." I mused. "Do they put millet in for extra protein?"

Then I thought: wouldn't millet be crunchier?

Yup, they were extra protein, but they weren't millet. This is one of the curses of living in the South and I suppose in retrospect I should have put the bag in a ziplock bag - then again, if the eggs were already in the mix, they may have hatched anyway.

So yeah. I briefly considered: hey, they've been cooked, and anyway, in some cultures people eat insects. But then I thought: but you don't know what they are and what anti-predator chemicals they might possibly have. And I was also kind of grossed out. So I threw them and the rest of the mix in the trash.

And then I thought: didn't have the energy to scramble an egg, didn't have anything I wanted that I could quickly heat up.

OK FINE SO MAYBE I JUST GO TO BED WITHOUT DINNER.

And no, going out for something wasn't an option: it's dark, it's cold, I'm in pajamas that wouldn't be presentable even for going through a drive-through EVEN IF there were something I wanted from carry out.

Then I remembered the little Thai soups I have that just skirt the edge of being too salty for me. (And I need to order more from Amazon - the natural-foods store no longer carries them - when I get back from break.)

It's not *really* what I want, but then I don't KNOW what I *really* want. (I get like that some times. I don't know if it's just me, or if other people get like that).

(If I DO get out tomorrow - or even if I just have time to go to Pruett's in town - I have to figure out something for 2 1/2 days more of food.)

But yeah. Not happy right now. Seeking comfort.

Clawhauser seems like he'd be sympathetic, and he's nice and flat so he's easier to hug. (Maybe he comes along as a Comfort Item in my carry on; he could also serve as an emergency pillow if it came to that)



Watching "It's a Wonderful Life." Already two bits have made me a little teary:

first: when everyone is praying for George

Second, when Joseph (? I think that's the angel speaking) speaks to Clarence:
"Is he sick?"
"No, worse, he's discouraged."

Maybe I'll cheer up one I've eaten (I have to let the soup cool; it starts out surface-of-the-sun hot) and done a little knitting, I don't know.