Weekend is over

:(

Too much work, not enough fun, not enough quiet time for myself.

Yesterday was the funeral lunch. Today at church was....oh, a lot of things. Culminating with pastor-parish committee meeting at 3 this afternoon.

I do not like these meetings because they often have complaints that don't really have much of a solution. Or the solution is something that is a PERENNIAL problem.

I am convinced that 90% of church conflict - at least in churches where you don't have illegal stuff actually going on - is due to poor communication, people hearing what they want to hear and then claiming 'but that's what I was told,' or communication that comes too late to be acted on.

I heard examples of all that in the meeting and yes, really, probably 3/4 of the stuff - and the really unpleasant stuff - was one of the three. (The other stuff dealt with "people don't like the hymns being picked" and the response to that was "but we asked for a list of preferred hymns and no one offered any" and yeah, the old Let George Do It was in play. Personally? I'm fairly neutral. I like the favorite old hymns but I also like learning unfamiliar ones. I'm not wild about praise songs but neither of the hymnals we use seem to have those in any sort of abundance)

I am probably not a good choice for the committee because:

a. I was raised to be tolerant of others' wants and needs, and to tend to put my wants behind others' needs, to the point where, for example, I genuinely *do not care* any more about certain aesthetic things

b. I hate hate hate hate hate conflict, I hate people talking at cross purposes, using hyperbole, bringing up incidents from ten years ago as proof that a current situation is a problem, all of that.

Yes, I am a fricking doormat, as one of my high school friends accused me of being. But you know? Sometimes being a bit of a doormat in the name of keeping peace is not such a bad thing I think.

One of the big issues though I think just boiled down to either (a) lines of communication got crossed and stuff didn't get out in a timely fashion or (b) someone heard something one way when it was intended another and you know, this is one of those "it's water under the bridge, it's spilled milk, there's nothing we can do about it now so LET'S MOVE ON AND TRY NOT TO REPEAT THE MISTAKE" situations. Except the past mistake got chewed on a lot and that was just painful to me. (It was not my mistake but sitting listening to blame being cast back and forth bothers me and almost makes me want to step up and somehow take the blame just to get people to shut up. Though in this case I genuinely was 100% not involved so people would have looked oddly at me if I raised my hand and said "yeah, it's my fault, blame me")

I have a headache now. This weekend was stressful. The bell choir also performed and although I'm happy to do it and it went well, still, it's not like it's a walk in the park either, it demands concentration and a certain level of toughness....and tomorrow night, barring really bad weather* we have rehearsal again AND it's CWF, and I have to be there to run the meeting because the person in charge asked me to, as she is going to be at the VA hospital with her husband who is receiving treatment for cancer, and it seems churlish to me to say no in that case.

So anyway. And now next week of teaching and grading and making time to pack and not forget anything and dealing with a houseful of people and maybe my mom not being on top of her game because of the surgery so I may wind up cooking for people at least one of the days (though I am seriously thinking: Monday night, maybe I just offer to run out to the Hy-Vee - which has a Chinese food carry out bar (yes, they do, and it's surprisingly good Chinese food) and get a bunch of entrees we can all split and call it good. Even if I have to pay for it.

I dunno. I keep saying "There will come a time when I will get to rest, and when people will do stuff for me instead of me having to do for myself (or sometimes even for them, too)" but I am not sure when that day comes. (Yes, I suppose I could go find a nice hotel and check in there but you know? It gripes me a lot to realize the only way I might get people to do stuff for me - bring me food, or provide me with entertainment, or help me get things I need - is to pay them to)

(*We're supposed to get a rain-snow mix, but of course it can't come overnight tonight and be *just* bad enough to close the university; it has to come during the afternoon commute home...)

But yeah. I am peopled out, and yet I must go out and be among people all day tomorrow. Life seems a bit unfair on that point; I feel like I should get A Day Without People at least once a week.