Christmastime is here

...well, maybe not QUITE, because first we have to have Advent, though as I've said before, I don't have too much trouble compartmentalizing the "reflective" time of Advent (I have also seen it described as "Lent-lite") from the more festive "holiday preparation time."

I know some people are stricter about it than I am; my brother and sister-in-law's Anglican/Episcopalian church doesn't typically decorate until the 24th (!) and I know a lot of people who eschew most of the "festive" stuff until right before Christmas.

But, God forgive me, I make a very poor ascetic.

And I wonder if that's part of my distress this fall - not so much asceticism (I probably ate more, and ate more sweets, than is ideal, and spent more money than is ideal) but the getting my head so firmly wedged in my work I can't see my way clear, and I get to feeling like it is nothing BUT work forever and ever, amen. (And yeah: four classes and a heavy load of volunteer/service stuff is perhaps a bit much to expect of a person, ESPECIALLY someone with no at-home support - so no spouse who could run to the store when the milk is getting low, and no older kid who is at least able to throw a load or two of laundry in the wash)

I feel better now, though. I don't know if it's one of these things or a combination:

1. Finally got cold enough to kill off most of the allergens
2. I can see the end of the semester from here, and I have enough time to complete what I need to complete
3. Having a week off from work and around people who are not work-related people*
4. Christmas is coming!

(*Seen on twitter this morning: "going back to work tomorrow after five days off and i'm depressed about it. i don't hate my job at all. i just really like being home" from @inthefade. And yes, I like my work, I just wish I weren't in my office so many hours of the day. And faced with people demanding/requesting/cajoling things of me. Also, yes, I really do like being home: it's easy to make a good hot lunch there (with the requisite servings of vegetables) and I can play music as loud as I want or have complete silence, and there are blankets, and I have control of the thermostat so I can make it warmer or cooler as desired)

And yes, #4 is a big thing for me. As I've said before, in all the holiday things, I am totally #TeamChristmas (though also, to a lesser extent, #TeamThanksgiving, because sometimes it's just nice to have a big roasted turkey and sweet potato casserole and cranberry sauce and all that, and to spend the morning watching a parade - this year I went with Chicago's, which is smaller and a bit goofier, rather than the slicked-up, padded-out Macy's that spends what feels like an inordinate amount of time promoting Broadway shows that maybe 1% of the viewers of the parade will actually get to SEE.)

The reason I love Christmas as an adult is maybe a little different than why I loved it as a kid, but it's not that MUCH different. I love the pretty things, and the decorations, and the special music, and the food (even as I'm trying to scale back on the sugar I eat, looking ahead to bloodwork again in February....) and getting to do different things, and the stuff at church and just the old, old reminder that even though the world itself seems to be going to Hell, there are still good things, and ultimately love wins over hate, that love has already won and hate just hasn't figured it out yet or given up...

And I know there are people who flail their arms at whatever the currentest outrage is, and say "BUT HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY BECAUSE THIS?" and imply that being happy over (for me) a holiday that celebrates the birth of the one I believe to be the Son of God and all the related celebration is wrong and selfish because there's suffering in the world and....I don't know. How does my being miserable about the state of the world make it any better? I try to do what I can; you can see my credit card statements for my monthly donations to a couple of groups that do Good Works if you don't believe me. I strive to be kind and fair in my day to day life. There's not a lot more than that I can do. I do think it's easy for some of us - those who want to help, those of us who maybe heard the stories about St. Basil as a kid, who feel like we are not doing ENOUGH and also the old idea that "if you have two pairs of shoes, you should give one to the poor, because you can only wear one pair at a time" and I suppose that skirts perilously close to the old parable about the rich young man who went away sad believing the only way he could get into Heaven was to give up everything he had...and of course one of the answers to that parable (parables are somewhat like koans, I think) is that NO ONE is good enough on their own merits, even if they gave everything they had to the poor and even gave their bodies to be burnt....and so maybe doing what we can is enough.

(And again, I think of the old Edward Arlington Robinson poem, from which I will quote a bit:

"While you that in your sorrow disavow
Service and hope, see love and brotherhood
Far off as ever, it will do no good
For you to wear his thorns upon your brow
For doubt of him....")

As I said a bit more than a week ago: maybe exercising one's particular gifts, even if just for one's own enjoyment, makes a person happier, and better able to go out into the world and serve. And being happy about a holiday I genuinely love - and not for its materialistic aspects alone, or even principally - makes me a happier person, more prone to be generous with my time and money, and that's a net good for the world.

And heck, maybe even just people being happy, in some cosmic or mystical sense, makes the world a better place. I hope it does, anyway.

But yeah. I have my tree up, and my wreaths, and my Paddington Bear Christmas quilt on the bed, and I dug out the Christmas books I have (crafts, recipes, and memories) and have been looking at them. And I have my Pandora "classical music Christmas" channel playing. And I have cards for the CPAAG card exchange and should pick out a few more for friends far and near....

And I've been thinking about the upcoming break. Have already printed off the patterns for Horse Piem and Midsummer Magic Unicorn from my Ravelry library (I already have the yarn on hand for the Unicorn, but it's a lot of bulky yarn, so I hope I can fit it in my suitcase) and I am thinking about other things I would like to make over the longer (2 1/2 weeks) break I have coming up.

(Because I never got a pony as a kid, and as an adult it's rare I get stuffed animals even though people KNOW I like them. So I make my own, which is fine with me. It's not Christmas for me without a stuffed animal or two....)

And I'm thinking about baking. As I said once before, my mom is probably the only one of us three who should be eating very many cookies (she needs to put a little weight on, I think), but I still enjoy doing it, and there are neighbors to take things to. I think I want to do gingerbread this year in addition to the traditional sugar cookies. I think I have a soft gingerbread cookie recipe somewhere....Or maybe I go Full British and do little mince pies. (I have some British heritage, and I don't have any good recipes from my German or French antecedents, though I suppose Pepparkakor wouldn't be too far off of German cookies)

(Or maybe I do a batch of cookies for the finals-week finger food celebration. I did consider doing the "St. Louis gooey butter cake" in the new Cook's Country, but maybe cookies are easier? And if I do roll-outs, I could annoy everyone by using the Hello Kitty cookie cutters I bought earlier this year...)

I am busy this week but I also want to try to make time at least to go out to the antique shops before I go on break - maybe next Saturday (this Saturday I have a recruitment event to be at, and I can't remember now if it's all day or only until lunchtime...at any rate, I also have to get the makings for turkey meatballs some time).

It's a busy time, but there are also enough fun things to make the work-part of the busy-ness not so bad.

(Pictures of the gift-mitts I finished over break will come later)