Friday, May 19, 2017

Back to myself

This is something I've noticed this spring, and I'm happy about it: my resilience seems to be returning.

I think part of it was that 2016 was a series of SO MANY unpleasant shocks (family and friend health issues, budget cuts, uncertainty as to the future of the congregation I belong to) - it seemed at some points like EVERYTHING that really mattered to me (family, church-home, work, even my own health) were under attack and things were just going to get worse and worse.

But things have gradually (mostly) improved: my family's health is mostly stable now; things at work are more stable (we are probably in better shape right now than many of the regionals and I remain confident in the intelligence and good sense of our university president); things are looking up at church (excellent new minister, a few people have joined).

And I find I'm a lot better at bouncing back from the little slings and arrows - which every day brings anyway, even in the best times. I'm interested in quilting again, more interested in knitting again.

I just hope it continues for a while. I know one of my faults is I am strongly affected by "externals" - a friend or loved-one receiving good news can buoy me up for several days, same with something good happening for me. But similarly, someone I care about suffering weighs me down, or if someone is rude or sharp or unpleasant to me, or if there are just bad things happening (like, for example, I had Fun Plans and something beyond my control forced me to not do them).

But I am beginning to find some new fun things. I hope the longarm quilting at Lulu and Hazel's works out, so I have somewhere to take future tops. And I hope that the nice little quilt place in Denison keeps going, and the places in Whitesboro - yes, I have to drive more to get to them but I guess that's OK.

And having a summer off, that will help - I think maybe I WAS getting a bit burned out last year and maybe this time to regroup, refresh, do some different things, and also take time off will be good for me. (And maybe, just maybe, I'm getting a bit old to teach year-round. Intensive teaching is a young person's game, and maybe it's better for me now to just be a bit more frugal during the 10 months for which I am paid, and take June and July off, maybe do research with students, maybe refresh my classes more often, and maybe just do some of the stuff - like trying to learn German and a little Irish Gaelic and the like - will be good for me.

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