Sunday, January 15, 2017

emotional teeter totter

This happens to me some times. Part of it is being alone on weekends so things seem *amplified* to me because I only have my own brain to bounce stuff off of. But I had some emotional whipsawing today:

The good: I can't really give details (privacy reasons and I don't want to risk jinxing things) but something happened today that if it works out like I hope (expect?) it will, will be very good for the future continuation of the congregation I am a part of. This congregation is like my family so it is very important to me it manages to keep on keepin' on in some way or other. (Yes, I could find another if we folded, and I'd probably wind up going where the bulk of the people I really care about migrated to - likely the Methodist congregation - but I'd rather the congregation I'm in right now keep going).

The temporarily bad: I called my mom mid-afternoon to share the news and I couldn't reach her. And, of course, it's just short of a year from my dad's trip to the ER. And my mom is still hurting a little bit from the fall, and still isn't doing 100% of the things she did before it. And I looked up the weather online and said there was freezing rain and I was like "uh-uh, she wouldn't go to the grocery in this." (My dad generally does not get to the phone in time - uses a walker, bad knees, slow to get up out of a chair). I also thought, as he had remarked the last time I talked to them, that their neighbor did some shopping for them, but now I guess it was just bare minimums.

So I worried a bit.

I tried calling again, nothing. I tried telling myself, "Maybe they're on the phone" but I kind of remembered that it would then default to the phone company's voicemail announcement and not their "local" answering machine greeting - which was what I was getting.

So I worried. Took to twitter and asked for people to "virtually sit with me" (a couple of my followers were on, and did, and it is appreciated).

I looked up my little list of emergency contacts and was considering whether to call the across the street or the next-door neighbors, when my mom called back.

She had been out at the stupid Jewel. Because there was a stupid coupon in the stupid paper that gave some money off and was set to expire today and she said they were low on meat and so she wanted to get out. And I flailed a little and said, "But isn't it freezing rain?" and she was like, "Oh, yeah, that's supposed to happen later. It was raining when I went out but hadn't started to ice yet."

So, facepalm. And yes, I know: 90% of the stuff I worry about never comes to pass but it's that 10% that I feel like I have to be emotionally and logistically prepared for (for serious, I was wondering how fast I could get up there if I had to, if there was a flight out of Dallas and if someone from church would drive me to the airport)

I had started the dvd workout but gave up about 10 minutes in because I was worrying too hard and didn't give it good effort, so I went back and re-started it (did it again from the beginning). So now I need to wash my hair and eat dinner (fortunately part of the Good Thing I alluded to involved a going out to lunch so I had a bigger lunch, and I have some of the closest-we-will-get-in-this-part-of-the-US to skyr (Icelandic yogurt) to try out, so I'll have that and some fruit). And I also have to think about a simple new project (or maybe I work on trying to finish the scarf I've been doing) because I have an assessment test to invigilate next week. (I am leaning towards starting the La Grasse Matinée sweater. I have two yarns for two versions of this - a nice tweedy brown yarn by Regia or someone, and some purple stripey Deborah Norville "Serenity" yarn. I think I'm actually going to do the purple first; it was a closeout and was super reasonable, so I can work out any kinks with fitting or working the pattern on the less-expensive yarn first.

I also am working away on the second sleeve for Hagrid so perhaps that should be this evening's project.

I have the day off tomorrow but plan to go in for a couple hours - soil to sieve and also some reading to do, and I probably should post the second chapter of Soils.

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