Friday, November 04, 2016

Oh, what next

My doctor is leaving her practice. I got a call about it today. She's leaving next Friday, which makes me wonder if there was some difference-of-opinion that became untenable.

The only thing I am clinging to as hope is the mention the receptionist made that "she's going to another local clinic but we don't have details."

My next appointment was to be in February, so I have a bit of time. Though I did call my pharmacy and leave a somewhat tearful (because I had just found out and just couldn't) message that would they please get a re-authorization for my Monteleukast before Friday next and if the insurance balked (I think I have two weeks or so of pills left) I would just pay for this one out of my own pocket. (Monteleukast is fairly cheap).

But yeah. I am at about negative twenty spoons right now and can't deal with this. I will call next week some time to see if there's more details, and I will check around to see (hopefully) which clinic announces her joining them, and then I'll just sign up with them.

I really like her and don't want to change doctors. If I have to I will but that's just something I don't have the energy for - forming a relationship with a new doctor. (There are also a couple in town here who double in "bariatrics," which tells me that they tell their slightly chubby patients - like me - to lose weight or to get weight-loss surgery and I swear if I wind up with a doctor like that I will never go, because I hate that kind of thing sufficiently much as to want to avoid it given every chance. Part of it is my inherent perfectionism and my desire to shut up the voice in my head that says, "If you're so smart and so responsible, then why are you not a size six?")

I dunno. Insert here a .gif of a cartoon character throwing up its hands and running panicking in circles; I don't have the energy to look one up right now.

Anyway. Here's the week's recap:

Monday: learned SPSS had NOT been reinstalled as promised, was very embarrassed in front of class, got mildly angry (I never get very angry, but I was angry) in front of class - not at them, and they know it, but still. Showing anger is showing weakness.

Tuesday: gave the talk I spent hours preparing and a good amount of time stressing over whether it was "good enough" an audience of seven, one of whom was a colleague who knew what I was saying and was just there to verify which of his students showed up for extra credit. Womp womp.

Wednesday: My cousin died

Thursday: Still no SPSS. Cried some in front of another person though that feels less like weakness because it was understandable and she is a minister and former hospital chaplain and is used to people crying

Today: found out my doctor is leaving the practice NEXT WEEK.

I also did this:

Sorry, that's as close to a ballot-box selfie as I ever will do.

(It took just over an hour for me to make it through the line. I had looked up the ballot on line and researched things ahead of time so I knew how I wanted to vote already. And no, I'm not telling you, so don't ask).

(I should have smiled in that photo but I'm not feeling much like it at the moment)

YES, the Cubs did win the World Series and I am happy about that mainly for my father (a life-long Cubs fan - he is 81 and has only seen them go once before, and they lost that time). But other than that, this week can die in a fire.

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