April Fool's Thoughts

It's a week from Friday. The state science fair judging is that day, so that's where I will be.

That displeases me ever-so-slightly; I had vague plans of bringing in the Giant Googly Eyes I bought a long time ago on a whim and pasting them to the ice machine or something like that, but those kind of silly pranks are no fun if you're not around to have people poke their head in your office and go, "Did you do that?"

Also, I will have to feel like I am on "high alert." I've said before I dislike April Fool's Day and similar because I tend to approach life earnestly, honestly, and with literal-mindedness, so I don't always see pranks coming. Some I don't mind so much (though I prefer the silly kind, like sticking googly eyes on inanimate objects) but I really REALLY really dislike the ones that are designed to make me look like a fool in front of other people. That's just one of my big personality quirks and while I tend more or less to be the "heh heh, good one" type of person over stuff that isn't really funny (though I also once got the reputation of being "humorless" because I refused to laugh at a Certain Admin's borderline sexist joke), one thing that will make me actually angry is someone else getting laughter at my expense.

I think there are actually two parts to it here.

The first part is that I really love it when I can make someone laugh with something clever or absurd that I say, or with a genuinely funny joke (or with things like cute and funny cat pictures). And so when someone else effectively uses me as a prop to get laughs for themselves, I feel like they've stolen my ability to be funny from me, because now I can't try to be funny around that group of people. Because I'll look like I'm 'copying' them or something. (I'm not explaining it well...)

But the second part is that I spent so much of my childhood, it seemed, being the butt of my peers' jokes. Or the one they made cry because they knew it was relatively easy to tease me to the point of tears, and some kids are just sadistic that way. And I feel like I may not have much going for me in this life, but the respect of people around me and my sense of dignity is one thing I do have going for me, and when someone fools me or makes me the butt of a joke, I feel like that's been stolen from me, that I've been made to look like an idiot, and yes, it really is like fifth grade again. Except I can't start crying, even though as an adult it might actually make the other people feel bad.

And I don't like the whole, "Oh, but in the South, people tease you when they *like* you" thing, which I've heard enough times already. Well, my response is, if people actually *like* me, they know me well enough to know that my past history means teasing really BUGS me and it kind of hurts my feelings and regardless of anything I interpret it as hostile or an attempt to make me look small - so if they actually *like* me, they won't do it.

(Cue the bit from the Season 1 MLP Gilda episode here, where Pinkie Pie declares she would NEVER EVER EVER prank Fluttershy, because she knows it would hurt Fluttershy's feelings)

But there are cases where people DON'T know me well, and they figure, "Hey, it's April Fool's! So we get a pass to make some random person look like an idiot" and they pull a prank, and I'm stuck there having to laugh at myself and how dumb I look when I really want to run from the room and not come back. And I'm concerned someone will think that's a good idea, even at a place like the science fair, because college faculty can be weird like that.

I dunno. This is one specific place where I tend to be really humorless and I prefer it when people know that and respect it....