A random thought

It occurs to me that one of the mental traps I let myself fall into is the trap of "this is never going to change." It causes me a lot of grief either way:

1. When the thing is a good thing. Like the quilt/yarn shop in town. I assumed it would ALWAYS be here and so I was completely shocked when I heard it was closing (I didn't even go to the closing sales because the idea of it made me too sad) and I am still in some ways mourning it.

Similarly, thinking back over the ministers we've had in the past 10 or so years. There was one in particular why was quite well-liked but then some family issues (nothing scandalous, just sad things) decided it was better to move along.

2. When the thing is a bad thing. This is what I'm mired in right now - the whole "the economy is bad and I feel bad and how do I cope with losing the part of my income I considered "discretionary" and also dealing with the idea of having to sock even more away in case things get worse." Or all the up-in-the-air-ness about church, the sense we'll never have a permanent minster again and will continue to spiral down until we close. (And even if that does happen: there are other churches, I can probably find somewhere I fit in okay).

I don't know. Again, I'm not good at the detachment-from-outcomes thing.

And I don't know where I was going with this but it's something I realized: the wanting (in the first case) for things to be "forever" and  the fearing (in the second case) that they will be "forever." And nothing is.

I just wish I felt a little more guidance on what I do now. I hear people talking about praying and getting the answer and I rarely find that works for me. All I can do is "keep on keepin' on" but I don't know if that will be successful here or is the right thing to do or if I need to make a big change or whatever.