Busy days ahead

So I guess I won't get to Sherman this weekend as planned.

We are hosting a science enrichment event here. To make a long story that I don't know all the details of a bit shorter, another campus not in our system had agreed to host it, then pulled out at the last minute. So we offered to host it, and now we are. But people are always needed for stuff like this, and apparently Former Host was forbidding (?) its faculty from helping out. (Wow. Just, wow. Like I said, I don't know the full story, but that seems kind of strange to me.)

So I volunteered. I figured, heck, this buys me a Get Out Of Volunteering Free card for the event later this month that falls on my birthday. My chair offered two options: I could proctor a written test (sort of boring) or I could host the "informational table" about the department. Almost before the words were out of her mouth about the table, I said, "I could do that." She seemed happy to have me take it.

I dunno. For an introvert, I kind of like doing that thing. It's standing behind a table for a couple hours that is set up with departmental material and talking to students or parents who might be interested in our school. And it's kind of fun to put together the table: I usually borrow a few anatomical models for the medical side of things, and some pickled specimens for the straight biology side. I might haul over the old flower model too if I can wrangle that and everything else.

But that's my Saturday morning right there.

And Friday afternoon, we have a meeting for post-tenure review. This is a new thing. I suppose it's a good idea, but I admit I'm apprehensive for a couple reasons: first, so many of my colleagues are teaching overloads this semester (I am not, by virtue of the fact that the uncovered sections fell during times I was already committed with things only I could do) and it's hard to find a time to meet. So Friday afternoon looks like the meeting time. (The other reason I am apprehensive is that although it's promoted as a "developmental" thing - that is, "Where can you improve," I could see in some departments or some climates it being used as a shoehorn for one individual to agitate for the removal or reprimand of another that they *personally dislike.* I don't see that happening in my department, but I could see it happening somewhere. Also, as I've said before: I am quickly learning that my model of "always do 100% your best" is a fool's game, you should hold something back, because then when you need to improve, it's easy to step up your game. If you're only carrying 15 pounds of rocks, it's easy to pick up five more. But if you're carrying 45 pounds, at the limit of your strength, and you're told you need to carry more rocks, what do you do? I'm guessing my recommendation will be to publish more and to lecture less in class and do more "active learning" and I don't know. Also sometimes I react badly to criticism I am not expecting so I will have to practice being a Big Tough Cowgirl and just nodding in response to whatever I'm told instead of tearing up or trying to justify why I did what I did.)

Also, it's just more committeework, which none of us really need right now. But whatever. I understand the need for us to be evaluated periodically.

Tomorrow night is AAUW. I am hostess, but this go round we're in the library, so complex food is harder, so I just bought a cheese and cracker tray. I might actually be able to eat cheese by then - I have been avoiding it, along with chocolate, to avoid angrying up my stomach, but I put some chocolate chips in the oatmeal this morning and I seem to be okay, so.

And next Monday is CWF, for which I am also hostess (I put all my hostessing in the same month; makes it easier to remember). I think I'm going to make a maraschino cherry cake that was a favorite in my family when I was growing up. Normally my mom put chocolate icing on it (and that is good) but we have one member who cannot eat chocolate, so I guess I'll do cream cheese with almond flavoring. I can't think of any non-chocolate icing that would work better. (I have a very good caramel icing recipe, but that doesn't go with cherries. Also it's cooked like a fudge so it takes more effort)

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Am thinking about trying some new recipes again. I saw a pea soup (not split pea: made with frozen green peas) in one of my cookbooks. I don't *love* green peas as a vegetable and never eat them, but maybe pureed up and flavored properly they would be OK. I like split-pea soup all right, or at least I used to eat it before I had to cut out ham from my diet. (Could also try making split pea soup and doctoring the flavor with Worcestershire sauce and liquid smoke to get that ham-like flavor without all the salt)

Also thinking about doing something in the crockpot soon, but what? The only decent meat I can get reliably locally is chicken. (Beef is either disgustingly lean or just poor quality, which is upsetting given that we are in a beef raising area). Pork is hard because most of it is too lean and then shot up with salt brine to "enhance" the tenderness.

If I could get to Sherman I'd consider buying a chunk of chuck and making kind of a pseudo pot roast in the crock pot (just the meat and potatoes and mmmmmaybe turnips - most of the aromatic vegetables that go into those are things I can't eat)

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One of my bad book-habits: when a publisher makes books that have a design that pleases me, I want all the books in the series. There's a new "British Crime Series" that has come out - this is the one I currently have (I just started it) and it's just such a nicely made book and seems so stylish. I admit I ordered another by the same author (I never heard of him before I saw the book recommended on Mrs. Miniver's Daughter) and one that is a compilation of short stories.

At any rate: that sort of "Golden Era" (or at least: between the Wars, or shortly post-WWII) British mystery novel is my FAVORITE genre to read. I've speculated before on why I find it enjoyable; I think a big part of my love of mysteries is that there is the idea that I see them as fundamentally stories of the redemption of a community: a sin is committed (usually: someone is murdered, though in a few it's a theft or blackmailing). The Wise Man (or more rarely, Wise Woman) is called in to figure out what happened. He (or she) does, the guilty party is caught and removed from the community (or rarely: they remove themselves; some novels end with the suicide of the murderer), and as much as it can be, order is restored. What was broken has been repaired. And I think that's something I long for in day-to-day life: that when stuff gets broken, that it can be repaired.

I think I also like them because intelligence and problem-solving (and in some sense, patience: the detective, professional or amateur, has to be patient enough to observe and consider what is happening) is essentially celebrated in these novels; it is a trait that is valuable to have. And living in a culture that often seems to celebrate "dumbness" as a virtue, or that privileges outrageous behavior over patient, quiet thoughtfulness, it's nice to see that in those novels.

I finished "Still Life" last night. The murderer was not who I expected it would be and it turned out to be one of those creepy cases of "you think you know a person." These novels do tend to delve more into the psychology of those involved than some mysteries, and again, there's a....perhaps "soulfulness" is the right word? to them that I like. It's definitely not a nihilistic worldview: there is an underlying idea that some things are good and right and proper. And also, there is the idea that even though some people (one character in particular) can do wrong and hateful things in their pasts, they can also repent of those things and seek some kind of redemption.

It's funny. The older I get the more I crave narratives that center around the idea of a redemption, where what is wrong is made right, where what is broken is repaired, and where people see how they hurt others, regret it, and make amends. I don't know why that should be but those are the stories that really speak to me and mean a lot to me. I haven't done a lot in my life that hurt people deeply and I'm not really carrying around some load of guilt from my past I am seeking to redeem, and yet, those stories of people seeking redemption are important to me.