Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Stupid brain, stop

Night of bad dreams last night:

I had taken in a small black cat that had lost one hind leg and part of its tail and was I caring for it. One day as I was about to go out my front door, it slipped out the door and someone ran up with a gunny sack (?) and scooped it up and ran off. And I started chasing the person, going "THAT'S MY CAT" and wondering what horrible thing they were going to do with it - because who else would want an ugly little damaged black cat, other than to do it harm?

In a later dream, I dreamed I lived in a brick house. But part of the brick had got bashed in, so I could see the internal structure of the construction. And there were rotting wooden boards and things and I remember thinking, "I need to call someone to fix all this for me but I don't know whom to call and I don't know how to fix it and I don't know how I'll pay for it, but if I don't do it, it will just get worse."

That second dream especially alarms me because that's the second time in recent months I've had a dream like that, that my house was falling apart and I didn't know how to stop it. I keep telling myself DREAMS ARE NOT PROPHECIES and I keep telling myself THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE SOME HORRIBLE UNDER-THE-SURFACE HEALTH PROBLEM THAT IS GOING TO KILL YOU FAR SOONER THAN YOU EXPECTED but I admit I'm still unhappy and shaken by it. (And as far as I know, my health is solid and there's nothing wrong with my house.)

I also kept waking up, looking at the clock, and trying to go back to sleep. I hate nights like that.

Maybe I'm just tense because I have to go to the doctor today to get blood drawn for the measles titer. I don't know.

(In all honesty, the cat dream made me sadder, because I had adopted that poor little thing and I cared about it and I could imagine all kinds of awful things happening to it....)

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