Valentine's is coming

(Heh. I won't make the obvious "Brace Yourself" meme-joke, but I will admit I *thought* it).

I decided to buy myself a gift. Because it's highly unlikely anyone else will, and besides, if I buy for myself, I will get what I want.

One of my objections, I have to admit, to the barrage of Valentine's Day ads that have begun - and they are almost exclusively focused on a man buying something for a woman, I can't remember one that showed the other way 'round - is the one-size-fits-all notion of gifts. The ads I've seen thus far suggest:

1. Flowers
2. Perfume
3. Pajamas, either "sweet" or (ugh) "Spicy"
4. A teddy bear
5. Jewelry.

One of the other eye-rolly things (for me, at least) is that several of these ads make a claim along the lines of "She will think you spent so much time thinking about her." Well, if she watches the same programs, then she's seen those ads, and she realizes that those items can be ordered with a few clicks on a smartphone.And if it's the same model and item as shown in the ad....well.

Also, a lot of those things are things I don't think I'd necessarily desire as a Valentine's Day gift. Jewelry - well, okay, if you're proposing to her, or if you're already married, perhaps. But it seems like an awfully expensive and big gift (at least, the jewelry ads I've seen) for what I consider a minor holiday. There'd be a lot of unspoken expectation attached to that. (Back in the old days, etiquette books counseled against giving "too personal" of a gift to a "best girl" or a "beau." I don't know if they still do, or if anyone cares much about etiquette any more)

And teddy bears - well, I admit it, I like teddy bears, but the one I've seen in the ads is very large (hard to find a place for it) and some of the other "valentine's day giftware plush" is well, kind of....it's kind of pink and heart-y and a little bit too much.

Lingerie. I don't wear "lingerie." I wear "underwear," which is designed to conceal, protect, and in some cases, support. My pajamas more likely than not have cartoon characters on them. And I'd probably side-eye "spicy" pajamas with the idea of "Oh. This has an expectation attached to it." I don't like gifts that come with obligations.

(I once said that knowing a little bit about behavioral ecology could be a very dangerous thing; one would be tempted, upon being given a box of chocolates, to say, "Oh. A courtship food gift. I suppose you expect me to copulate with you now." And yes, some species of insects do present the female with a "courtship food gift" and that is the VERY expectation)

Perfume and flowers are problematic for me because of allergies. Some flowers I can tolerate fine; most perfumes I can't. (I can sometimes wear single-note things; I have a lavender talc I wear in the summer. But some days even that's a bit much)

But what bugs me the most about all of the advertised gifts, is the idea that that same exact item is ideal for all women. It isn't.

I'd honestly feel happier being given a card that the giver picked out expressly because he knew THAT card would make ME laugh, or that I specifically would find it cute. Anything too expensive, especially from someone I was "just" dating and I might feel like running the other way (the sweater curse in reverse). Anything too "personal" ("spicy" pajamas, for example) and I'd be very uncomfortable.

But anyway. That's just me.

So I bought myself a present. It turned out to be an expensive one for a "minor" holiday, but whatever.

For a long time I had been looking at the Belvedere cardigan from Interweave (that's the Interweave link; the photos at the Ravelry link are probably a bit clearer). It's a cardigan, and I wear them all the time to work. And it's lace, which I really enjoy knitting. And it's kind of raglan-sleeved, which is the style I prefer.

I had debated whether to use some of my stockpiled yarn for it (if I had enough of any one color) or whether to order the designated yarn (Spud and Chloe "Sweater"). One of the things I like a lot about knitting is getting to try out new and different yarns, and I've never knit with a Spud and Chloe yarn before. So I went hunting.

I wound up ordering from my favorite online yarn purveyor. I went with the color "Bloomsberry," a deep purple. (I had also briefly considered Jellybean - but I didn't like it as well, and anyway, they hadn't enough of it in stock. And I considered "Pollen" but from looking at several pictures of it online (from different sources) I could not tell if it was more orangey, more peachy, or more yellowy, and was afraid it would be hard to match to other clothes)

And then I thought: You just bought yarn for yet another purple sweater. You already have a lot of purple sweaters (and green sweaters, and brown sweaters). But the thing is: I LIKE purple. It's a color that matches well with other clothing I have. And I look good in purple.

This is one of those "how you do anything is how you do everything" moments - I'm also the kind of person who, when going to a restaurant (particularly one I've not been to in a while), tends to order something I've had before and remember as being good, rather than trying something new. (Though more often these days, my "What do I want to eat" is replaced by "What on the menu is okay for me to eat?" Ugh.) Or I like going back to the same places on outings.

I did get back the other night to working on the Hagrid sweater. It'll be a while before it's done but I think Belvedere will be next.