Thursday morning stuff

Came in this morning to a computer that would not hook up to the Internet. Firefox reinstalled itself (?) and lost all kinds of stuff, including the knowledge of how to connect to the proxy server. This was bad, because I needed to update my Blackboard pages, and also, because I have become SO dependent on Pandora radio to block out hallway noise (or the buzz of the overhead lights, if no one's in the hallway). I put out a couple of unhappy e-mails to our Help Desk, but apparently, like some other offices on campus that had been pretty efficient, they got downsized, and now everything takes a lot longer. (Downsizing should not be a reward for getting your work done in a good and timely fashion).

Well, finally, I gave up (after going down to the main office and using the spare computer there to update Bb) and played with the proxy settings, figuring I couldn't screw things up too much more worse than they were. And so, now, I'm back. I don't know if it was the "here's a steaming plate of updates" my computer got served recently that did it, or something else, but at least I can use the Web again from my office, which is good.


I even managed to reinstall my beloved "Moomin" theme for Firefox.

***

Board and Elders' meeting last night. I'm now the new proxy head elder (well, for a while, at least, though I have a feeling this is a job you can't give up without good cause). My friend had been the head elder....so I agreed to handle the scheduling and run the meetings for now. I did note that visiting the sick and homebound was (a) not a gift I had (I am not good at it: I'm shy, I hate feeling like I'm intruding, I don't always know what to say...) and (b) these days, there are a lot of days I'm on campus from 7 am until close on to 6 pm, and frankly, a lot of days, when I walk off campus, I'm DONE, I've used all my coping energy for the day and I need time to regroup. And for a lot of folks who are unwell, having someone show up at their door at maybe 7 pm isn't so good. I know that even for someone like me, who's basically healthy, having someone want to visit that late after a long day would elicit a slightly pained smile from me.

So I don't know. What we really need is someone who has visiting others as their gift, someone who might not necessarily be comfortable with some of the other duties of an elder (lots of people turn it down because they don't want to pray at the table, and I can understand that. I can do it, so I do, but I can understand how some people are not comfortable or not able) but who could serve as a parish visitor.

However, it sounds to me, from what scraps of information I picked up (I don't like to poke and pry, I figure if someone wants me to know something they will tell me), the situation with my friend is not as dire as I was led to believe. Yes, she is in hospice. But apparently the very short estimate of time she had left given her by one doctor may have been in the service of him trying to bully her into aggressive chemo. (WHY do doctors do that? Some people just decide, upon a recurrence of cancer, that they're ready, and whatever time they have left is the time they have left....having seen friends and relatives go through chemo, I can understand not wanting it if it seems unlikely to greatly extend life).

Apparently it's some kind of blood cancer, and there are some forms that people hang on for a fair time with, even without treatment. 

So I'm back working on the prayer shawl again. Hopefully I will have it done quite soon and be able to give it to her.

I'm considering after this pulling out the Silk Garden I have tucked away and making one for myself. Is it weird to make oneself a prayer shawl? I suppose it is but then I don't really feel like I need one enough for someone else to make one for me, but I do want something just kind of simple and warm to wrap up in. The Silk Garden I got on a really good sale and it's colors (primaries with black) that don't normally suit me that well, but it would be fine as a cozy thing at home to wrap up in, or to keep on the back of the sofa. 

***

Well, the plans for mid-fall break are fluid. Originally my research student and I were going to travel to a prairie preserve to talk with the guy there about lespedeza control, and to see what they were doing. But now she tells me he's on furlough, and that at least parts of the preserve may be closed.

So we may wind up going over Spring Break. Oh well. Normally I visit family then but I guess I can change it for this year.

However, I do now have tentative plans with my friend Laura in Shreveport to go to Longview for a day. A day of yarn and books and a lunch out. (Yes, I have to be careful about restaurants, but I'm thinking a big good salad like the one restaurant we like to go to has can't be TOO bad). Actually, a day out like that sounds really good right now with all the agita I've suffered this fall. A day to talk to someone about something OTHER than work, and maybe get a little outside perspective on stuff.

I think part of the problem is I do tend to get my head stuck in the one-inch picture frame, so to speak - I get so buried in work or in church stuff that I can't step back and see the bigger picture, so if something isn't going well there, I kind of get wrapped up in it and spend a lot of time agonizing.