Poem and commentary

On a recent "Yarnstorm" post, Jane Brocket quoted a poem (written by Darwin's great-granddaughter, of all people), where the poet seems (or it seems to me) to mock a "fat white woman in gloves" walking through a field:

To a Fat Lady Seen From the Train
O why do you walk through the fields in gloves,
Missing so much and so much?
O fat white woman whom nobody loves,
Why do you walk through the fields in gloves,
When the grass is soft as the breast of doves
And shivering-sweet to the touch?
O why do you walk through the fields in gloves,
Missing so much and so much?

I admit, I at times can be a bit humorless about such things. (The "o fat white woman whom nobody loves" does get my hackles up a bit, I could see someone presuming that about me). But my first thought upon reading it was, "But what if she has a terrible, terrible allergy to grass leaves?" (I have a mild one - on bad days I come out in a rash if I have to walk bare-armed or bare-legged through tall grass. I have actually done fieldwork wearing gloves on bad allergy days).

So, I guess I figured, the poet presumes too much.(And yes, I get what the poet "really" meant, about avoiding experience and shielding oneself from the world, but she does seem to make quite a few presumptions there)

But then, Brocket linked to another poem, written in response to this one:

The Fat White Woman Speaks
--GK Chesterton

Why do you rush through the field in trains,
Guessing so much and so much?
Why do you flash through the flowery meads,
Fat-head poet that nobody reads;
And why do you know such a frightful lot
About people in gloves as such?
And how the devil can you be sure,
Guessing so much and so much,
How do you know but what someone who loves
Always to see me in nice white gloves
At the end of the field you are rushing by,
Is waiting for his Old Dutch?

Dear old Gilbert Keith. (Ah, and to be someone's "Old Dutch")

I do think there's a lesson about modern life from these two poems....I find I am much more in line with the thinking of the second. One of my "issues" down through the years - so much to the point that there have been times I've really WANTED a box of cookies at the store, but not bought it - or bought vegetables or other "healthy" food I didn't really need (because I already had some at home), because I suspected people would assume things. I don't know why the feeling of being judged gets to me so much - after all, if I learned anything from the Fluttershy micro-comic, it is that for every "nuffer" out there there are several people who understand you and have your back - but it's one of those things about me that's weird.

Lynn, among others, has linked to a screed written by a woman who just HAD it when someone criticized her for drinking Diet Coke. (Now, granted - I make it a practice to avoid artificial sweeteners, personally, but I'm not going to say anything to you for using them). And about the general frustrating busybodiness that some people seem to adopt, the need to tell others about the 34,625 ways they are doing it WRONG. And that's one of those things that gets my hackles up. Yes, I have to be hypervigilant about what I eat. Yes, I have to be a bit of a crank about sodium in my food, and about certain items (carrots, for instance) that are No Bueno for my digestion. But I'm not going to look at you salting your french fries and tell you to stop it - if anything, I may wistfully remark, "Enjoy them for me."

It's tiresome enough for me to have to worry about the "purity" (in a couple specific details) of my food; I don't have the energy to worry about someone else's. (That's the other thing that gets me - doesn't it take an awful lot of energy to presume, and an awful lot of energy to criticize someone else's choices?)

And making assumptions is often wrong. (There's an old, rude but accurate, line about what happens when you "assume."). I know someone who, due to severe knee problems and largely unsuccessful surgery, has to often use a walker to get around. People - shopclerks, waiters, and so on - see "walker" and assume "stroke patient" or some such and treat this person as if they are cognitively disabled in some way, which they emphatically are not. And it's frustrating and maddening for this person.

I wonder if it isn't a logical fallacy our generation (our current society?) falls into - that my experience is everyone's experience, or at least should be everyone's experience. I am thinking in the sense of the "ZOMG YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT THAT" attitude. Or the woman I tweeted about a while back who was standing in the middle of a cupcake shop (a freakin' CUPCAKE shop) talking loudly about how sugar and gluten were "poisons*." Or, in my searching for some confirmation that my crazies of Thursday night could have been in part a bad reaction to the antibiotic, lots of people saying ZOMG BACTRIM IS POISON AND SHOULD BE TAKEN OFF THE MARKET because they had a bad reaction to it.

(*Yes, gluten can be poison, to people with celiac disease. But for other people, people who can digest it, it's not a problem. And even sugar, in moderation, is really not all that bad - for goodness' sake, our brains RUN on the stuff (they use glucose) and while our bodies can make what it needs from other foods consumed, neither will consuming small amounts of sugar lead to death.)

Now, granted - I am not qualified to assess the safety of a medication. I presume that studies have been done to test it, and that the FDA keeps records of such things. And I know that there are many people whose lives have doubtless been saved by sulfa drugs (perhaps, even, including an individual near and dear to me and without whom I would rather not live). But I also know that I, personally, should never ever take them again, and I really need to heed my pharmacist's advice and put a little card in my wallet to that effect, just in case. But I would never say ZOMG IT'S A BAD DRUG, TAKE IT OFF THE MARKET based on my experience alone....

(I also wonder if it's a responsibility issue - I look at my allergy to sulfa and go, "Wow, it would really be smart for me to get a Medic-Alert card for my wallet" but maybe some people go "No, I need to be protected from it at all costs, by having it banned, which takes no responsibility on my part")