It's still in the 30s here, so I need to wait maybe another hour before I can go out and collect my soil. This is the correct time to do it, though this year I might find fewer invertebrates seeing as we've had a string of cold days. (Well, Monday was pretty warm, though).
I'm reaching that midsemester point where I just feel kind of worn out and frayed, and like every new piece of bad news (or news that requires me to recalibrate my perspective, or add some other task to my task stream) just makes me look at it and feel the straws building up on the camel's back. The news I got yesterday afternoon, while, as I said, it doesn't affect my work and is something that can be "fixed" in my perspective (though the most likely "fix" is not an ideal one), it's just one of those things that feels unnecessary. And that makes me wonder if we're now feeling the brunt of the bad economy that the rest of the country is starting to pull out of (or so it seems) and if I'm going to see some of the other small comforts I've enjoyed in recent years go away because people are unwilling or unable to financially support them. (Please, God, NOT the quilt shop. I NEED the quilt shop.)
I had a dream last night that makes me wonder what is bothering me or what it represents. In short: a friend of mine was compiling packages of knitted items (mittens, hats, socks....) to send overseas to some unspecified country (I want to say it was somewhere like the mountainous regions of Greece or somewhere in Eastern Europe) where there had been a natural disaster and lots of people were without warm clothing. And I was all happy because I knew I had some extra pairs of mittens and hats I had knitted when I had some spare time (!) and was saving up for an opportunity like this. But when I went and found them, bugs had gotten to them and eaten holes in almost all of them. And I was alternately sad and furious - sad because I had promised my friend I'd help, and furious because the dang bugs got into EVERYTHING, they ate and destroyed and even my good and altruistic efforts were wrecked because of them.
And no, I haven't noticed any bug problems in my house or my knitting of late, which makes me think this is symbolic of something else. I often dream of having cats I am not caring appropriately for (like, forgetting to feed) when I'm not managing to pay attention to all the important things in my life.
I don't like that my superego can nag at me even when I'm sleeping.
I did get the cookies baked last night. I had had an upset stomach all day long (it's something, shall we say, not unexpected given the week it is) and just said, "Forget eating all my darn servings of vegetables today" so I had a bowl of cereal and the three or four cookies that wouldn't fit in the tin when I went to put them up for dinner.
ETA: And my stomach was better this morning. I don't think that's coincidental. I find that if I have an upset stomach, if I eat mostly grain-based carbohydrates for a while, it often gets better. (Which is why I am leery of the extremely low-carbohydrate diets.)
***
Jane Brocket (Yarnstorm) may or may not end her blog. Right now, her most recent post seems to suggest she may redirect (like, allow for monetization) but still write. If she does end the blog, I understand her reasons - that's how she earns her living, by writing, and doing something for free takes away time from doing what she gets paid for. That said, I'd be sad if the blog ended. It's one of those little bright spots in my day, the lovely photography, the nice words, the vision of a life that seems to be calmer than mine and that doesn't have higher-ups going into panic mode once a week. (The panic-mode thing is probably temporary and is related to two things: a legislature that is currently quite unfriendly to higher education, and the fact that we are up for accreditation renewal in another year. I have every confidence that we will be renewed but I think the administration is either overthinking things (Twilight Sparkle mode) or is trying to predict what new requests may be made of us. At any rate, it makes for very unsettled times for professors. And it seems like instability is never in just ONE area of my life, it seems to be in several all at once. And I dislike that.)
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