In the mail?

No, I don't save addresses from year to year (it may be somewhere in my archived e-mail, but my mail client's archives are kind of a pain to search). So if you want a card, you'll need to e-mail me the address again.

(I still have lots of cards left. Sent out a few this morning.)

And I feel like I'm maybe doing a tiny bit to help keep the Postal Service afloat. (Don't disabuse me of that notion, even if the truth is something like, "All that junk mail you hate so much is actually subsidizing your ability to mail cards across the country").

Because, the news yesterday: as of August, no more Saturday delivery. While I knew this was probably coming, it makes me sad. (And I was kind of rooting for the dropped-day to be Wednesday or Thursday - because on those many federal holidays we have on Mondays, we will now have three mail-less days in a row. And yes, the mail kind of matters to me).

I get a lot of junk mail, which goes into the recycling box. But I also get catalogs and magazines. And yes, I know, you can shop online, which you would think would replace catalogs (It doesn't, really),  and most magazines are also available in a virtual format on a tablet reader or such. (Which I do not have, but I suppose at some point in the future, we will all HAVE to get one, or risk being left out on some important things. Already with the weather, you pretty much have to go online to look it up in the evenings, because The Weather Channel has jumped on the "reality" show bandwagon and they don't actually show weather any more between about 4 pm and 9 pm.)

But I like the paper magazines. Yes, I could read them online, but with my current computer set up that means sitting in a hard, stiff chair at a desk in a room where the light isn't so good. And I get ocular migraines from staring at a screen too long. (I suppose there are some screens that might not do that, but I haven't found one yet). And it's just more COMFORTABLE to curl up with a paper magazine. (And I think being online does do something to your concentration - it's not as bad at home as at work, when my e-mail is sent to alert me to every. darn. message. coming. in. as long as I have the e-mail client open, but still, there are distractions you don't have when you have a paper magazine or book in front of you).

I think this is probably related to my need to knit and sew and do other things with my hands.

I made another batch of the deep dish pizza last night. I can't say how nice it is to be able to have pizza again; the recipe can be made low-enough in sodium to work for me. You knead the dough for 10 minutes. I know that seems long, but it's actually kind of restful: you cannot do anything else during the time you are kneading, your full concentration has to be on that. I like having stuff like that where I cannot be disturbed. I think it's because I tend to lead a work-life where it's possible an EMERGENCY MEETING will be called and pull me away from whatever I was planning to do. Or a student comes in with a problem they need to have dealt with NOW and I have to put aside what I'm working on. Or a colleague comes by with a gripe about something that neither I nor s/he can do anything to fix, and even though I might say, "but I'm really busy" or telegraph with my body language "I really don't want to listen to this right now, I have things I must do," I still get talked at.

But what's more, I like "real" stuff. I admit I twitch a little when I see the kids of friends seeming to only play video games or play with apps on their phone rather than, I don't know, building with blocks or something. And I bemoan the lack of comfort some of my students seem to have with using lab equipment - I don't know that that's because of having grown up button-mashing instead of using Lego or playing Operation or something, but in some cases, I wonder if it is. And I admit, one of the saddest things I saw was when, instead of having a "prize inside" (which was one of the greatest little unexpected joys of my young life), some cereals had "free codes for educational apps" inside the box - so you could download a free program, and what's more, an EDUCATIONAL program. ("I say it's spinach, and to Hell with it.")

I think also that mindset - of needing things to be "real" and three-dimensional - is why I need to knit and sew and quilt and all of that. It's what drove me, as a child, to try to make soft toys of my various "imaginary friends." (I guess in a way I still do that. And I'm contemplating beginning a DJ PON-3 at some point. Or maybe a Big Mac - I found a pattern for crocheted ponies that has a "male head variation" on it.).

I think it's because so much of what I do in my work (I know I've said this before) is so intangible. And so impermanent - I spend hours grading (that was my yesterday evening) and almost as soon as that's done, it's time to turn around and grade the next exam. Or lecture prep - you are constantly doing it.

And even the stuff that is arguably tangible - research papers and grant proposals - their success, their actually seeing the light of day - is not wholly dependent upon you. You work over something for months and months (or years and years, even) and send it off. Then you wait (the waiting is the worst part). Then, more often than not, you get back a letter saying, with varying degrees of politeness, "No, we won't publish your paper, don't bother us again" or "Your grant proposal had SOME merit, but we only have a small pool of money, so we're giving it all to a few well-known and well-established SUPERSTARS that might produce some research that would actually get on the news."  And it's so frustrating. Even when the turn-down isn't your "fault" (as in: it was a good proposal, but there isn't much money, and someone came in with a better one), still it hurts. And it's hard to go back to the work and retool, when it's been months since you thought about it. (And I don't know. Maybe that's one of the ways I'm DOING IT WRONG, maybe "real" researchers continue to obsess about their manuscripts and edit them even when they're in review.)

But it's just....it doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel like an accomplishment, really, to send one off. Because you know that's not the end of it. And by the time it finally IS published, you're so sick of dealing with it that you can't even really be that impressed by it any more.

That's one of the reasons why I knit. I can watch the ribbing of the sweater grow, and I know I'm doing it right - if it holds together, if the knits and purls are in the right places, I'm doing it right. When it's done, it's done. I can look at the couple inches I knit on a sweater in an evening or a weekend and feel like I can see what I did. And even if the finished sweater isn't absolutely perfect, it will still do its job. And that's kind of a relief, when you spend a lot of time dealing with rejected manuscripts/grant proposals. Or students angry because they think you graded them harshly. Or being told to do things that pull you off-task and leave you less time to do what you are actually supposed to do.