"WE THE FBI HAVE WARRANT TO ARREST YOU GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD"
Yes, in all caps just like that. And "get back to us for your own good."
Even if Charles had not posted the version of this he received last week, well, I still would have been laughing my head off. The title line sounds either like a very inexperienced blackmailer (and I've read too many Golden Age British mysteries to know that anything good ever happens to a blackmailer) or someone who's trying to sound like a 30s-movie hood.
My ISP did, however, helpfully append this warning, in red letters: "Be careful with this message. Similar messages were used to steal people's personal information. Unless you trust the sender, don't click links or reply with personal information."
Okay, so I clicked "view" (which is NOT the same as downloading, just in case there was a viral payload.).
It's totally a tl:dr. From the first sentences it looks like it's sent by the same 'bot who mailed to Charles last week.
Also, it comes from an aol.com address.
I would truly have to be Homer Simpson to buy that that e-mail was legit.
Oh, and
Teal Deer says: Blackmail attempt? Too long, didn't fall for it.
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