Some of you know that I'm an Elder in my congregation. (in Disciples of Christ, this means something different than in other denominations - not as formal). One of our duties is to visit people who are homebound; each of us "chose" a person back in January to visit.
Well, my "person" died this morning.
I feel sad about it because I hadn't been out to see her lately...granted, there are other people who were calling on her so she didn't feel disconnected, and she had lots of family in the area and had a nurse who came in for much of the day. But I found it really hard...for one thing, she was someone who went to bed very early in the evening, and so many days I wasn't free until then. I also had a couple bouts of illness - one in January, one just recently - and was afraid of passing my virus to her. I had also heard she was starting with dementia and as she didn't know me SUPER well, I admit I had backed off a little....I was going to send a card this week and try to arrange a time to go see her, but now I can't.
I don't know. I kind of "fail" at the whole visiting thing. Part of it is that I never know what to say, part of it is that I'm afraid of showing up or calling at a bad time and making the person feel put out. (I am probably projecting my own feelings on that; I admit there are times when I'm grading at home or trying to practice piano that I kind of groan when the phone rings).
I guess I feel kind of guilty I didn't make more visits or call more. But, on the other hand...I admit there have been times this semester that have been a struggle for me to take care of myself (as in: getting groceries, cooking, and doing laundry.)
I think my term as Elder expires this spring. Usually they ask people to re-up if they haven't been doing it for years upon years. I think I'm going to see if there's some way I can graciously decline re-upping because I'm so bad at the "visiting" part of the job.
2 comments:
Hey--I know it is hard but try not to be too hard on yourself. No one can be great at all aspects of a job, and it sounds like you did your best given your situation.
A visit doesn't have to be in person. A phone call, a note or a card can also be a visit. The purpose, I think, is to mainly let the person know they are not forgotten. Perhaps now, in your role as elder, you can be there for the family, maybe help with funeral arrangements or take a dish, etc.
It might be time to look at having a "shut-ins ministry" committee so the visiting is shared with others, not leaving it all up to the elders.
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