I give up.

The good news: The car is not unsafe to drive, although the air bags "might" not trigger in an accident where they would be beneficial.

The bad news: They apparently need to take my car to ever-lovin' bits to find out what the problem is. The manager told me that they needed the car for one, more likely, two days.

My greatest dismay at this is not what it might cost (unless it turns out a mouse ate the contacts - which is not entirely impossible - the repair will be covered under warranty, anyway) but the two days of carlessness.

"Not this week" I told him. "Maybe not next week."

And yes, I once again explained that because I was SINGLE and LIVED ALONE and had ONLY ONE CAR the fact that I would be WITHOUT A CAR FOR TWO DAYS presented a problem.

No, I didn't quite use the Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice (I can't quite summon that "voice of legion" effect), but I did sound rather like the baby complaining about how riding the dog like it is a small horse is FROWNED UPON in this ESTABLISHMENT:



(I'd probably never use the service that baby promotes, but some of his ads crack me up).

Next week, after all the funerals and stuff, I MIGHT be able to get someone from church who could at least pick me up from work so I'm not walking home (and it will be dark at 5 pm next week. Well, at least if I have to walk in at 7 am a day or two, I'll be walking in the light). But not this week, I'm not going to lay that on anyone this week. (I might also be able to get my secretary to drive me at least partway home, depending on the day. Not sure where she lives and how out of the way my place would be).

But I admit, the whole idea of having to ask people for rides makes me twitch because the last time I asked for help with something - getting the broom off my roof (Which is STILL THERE, thank you VERY MUCH) the person flaked on helping, and when someone else asked them why they hadn't shown up to help THEM, they got all upset at that person. So whatever. That is why I don't like asking people for help.

I wonder how much it would cost to hire a car and driver, if one could even be found closer than Dallas, for two days. Ugh.

(I don't own a bicycle, and at any rate my balance is sufficiently bad that I'd be a hazard to myself on a bike.)

I'm telling myself:

a. I have been in one minor accident in my entire driving history. (Well, other than the time my mom and I were driving somewhere together, and someone failed to stop, rear ended the car behind us, and caused them to rear-end us. But that was really minor, I think the bumper just needed to be replaced and that was because it was the typical low-test bumper most car manufacturers use now)

and

b. For the first 30 or so years of my life, I was a passenger/driver of cars withOUT airbags.

and

c. I always buckle my safety belt (Air bags are actually somewhat unsafe, from what I've read, if you're not buckled. Especially if you're a woman weighing less than 120 pounds, but that hasn't been an issue for me since I was 14 or so.)

If I just can't deal with it now, possibly it could wait until the end of exam week, when I have two days with nothing expected of me where I could just stay home (And I have four days after that before I have to leave for Christmas, so even if something goes really goofy with the car, they should have it fixed). But I don't know.

But, golly day. I'm ready to be DONE with stuff like this for a while. Driving back here, I "talked it out" stating that I was fed up with stuff breaking or seeming to have broken, that I was at the limit of being able to juggle everything I need to juggle and that I...just...really....NEED...for stuff to....go....SMOOTHLY FOR A WHILE." (And that was the point where my voice started breaking and I started tearing up, all alone there in my car).

The only upsides? I got all my exams graded, and the migraine that was nibbling at the edges of my consciousness departed enough that I can function again, more or less. So I'm going to grab the big giant textbook and drag it home to try to prep the next chapter while waiting on trick or treaters.

You know, I think about how so many kids long to grow up, long to be adults. If they knew what it really was like they wouldn't long for it nearly so much.