busy week ahead

Someone, somewhere, is laughing at me for having declared, back in April or so, that "It will be so nice only doing research this summer; I will have so much more free time."

I'm in the field about as long (maybe even longer) than I'd be in class. And while there are no pesky office hours to pick up or grading to do, still - doing a 7:30 or so until noon stint in the heat four days a week does wear on a person.

Also, this week I have CWF tonight, an AAUW executive-council meeting tomorrow afternoon, piano lessons Wednesday, and then Thursday, a meeting with my dean.

(Eeeep. I don't know what it's about. I'm telling myself because the e-mail said, "the dean would like to meet with you" and told me to tell what times were convenient for me - rather than "you need to meet with the dean" and giving me a short list of times - that it's going to be something neutral to positive. Maybe it's just a rehash of "how did you find the promotions process to be?" I don't know. I THINK - I hope - if a student complaint had been filed (the most likely "bad" thing my brain can conjure up) that I'd be warned ahead of time, because it would be only fair to allow myself to prepare a defense or bring in supporting materials. I don't know. It could also be, OH HAI DO YOU WANT TO BE NEW CHAIR NAOW? because our chair is stepping down. (I don't want to be chair. Not on your sweet bippy. I'm far too much of a people pleaser, far too prone to get overwhelmed by having too much to do, and to use the My Little Ponies Personality Scale, I'm too close to the "Fluttershy" end of the spectrum. (I'm not sure if the opposite end would be more Applejack or more Rainbow Dash.)

On a more serious note, I think I have too much active research going on to be able to handle being chair, too. (Really, the ideal kind of person for academic chair? Would be someone with experience in the field but who was all-but-retired: doesn't have research ongoing, doesn't teach many classes, can devote the time to the putting out of fires that so much of a chair's job seems to be. Also someone who isn't easily bulldozed by more aggressive types.)

But yeah, my mind immediately goes to the bad place whenever someone who is higher-up than me wants to meet with me, like I've done something wrong and I just can't remember what it was. Too many years of being a fairly meek and easily intimidated schoolgirl. (Seriously: when a teacher once THREATENED me with detention if I didn't stop whispering to a friend in class, I burst into tears. I still fight down that tendency as an adult any time someone chastises me for something.)

So yeah, not a happy week. I'm going to be kind of burnt out by the time it ends.

Also, this is really hard going, where we're sampling now - incredibly dense vegetation (and stuff like eastern red cedar that doesn't shed its lower branches), lots of greenbriar. And dang but it was humid this morning. (And it's a bit of a hike in to the sampling area. (And to begin with, the site is a half-hour's drive away. So that eats up time).

Evidence I do still knit, though: I finished the left front of Potter last night. I want to start on the right front but (a) I need to mark where I'm going to put the buttons on the left front so I know where to make the buttonholes (Actually, I still need to GET buttons. I'm thinking of going with antler or tagua nut, because both of those are super light, and I don't want something that will drag the front of the sweater down) and (b) have enough time when I'm starting it so I can think intelligently about the "work same as for left side but reversing shaping." (I know I'm not the only knitter who groans at the "but reversing shaping" direction. It's not that it's so HARD for me (it is for some people with less of a developed spatial sense), but it takes more concentration than just motoring along and following the pattern as written.