An East wind

I'm reading "Bleak House" right now.

I'm not that far into it yet - I read before going to sleep and many nights, lately, I've just been so exhausted when I get to that time of day, I can maybe get five pages in before I just can't concentrate any more. I'm just up to the point where Mr. Prince Tuveydrop comes on the scene. (I love the character names Dickens comes up with).

The characters are really one of the great things in Dickens. There are characters (like Mr. Harold Skimpole, at whom I would still like to throw my heavy hardback copy of the book) that are pretty dislikable, there are characters that you like and feel sympathy for despite the looming feeling that something bad is going to happen to them (Esther Summerson). And there are comic characters, some of whom are mainly window-dressing (the aforementioned Mr. Prince Turveydrop). But there are also characters that play an important role but who also have some comical characteristics.

Mr. John Jarndyce is one of them. He's the cousin (I think?) to Richard and Ada, the "wards in Jarndyce" (And I really need to look up more detail of how chancery court worked. I assume it's something like a very protracted probate...but I don't think there's quite a modern U.S. equivalent).

Mr. Jarndyce is a likable, friendly, kindly man. But sometimes (like all of us, I think) he gets out of humor. And, also like many people who somewhat pride themselves on their kindness, he doesn't want to blame his being out of humor on a particular person.

So instead, he blames it on the direction of the wind - saying that the wind is out of the East. (And in some cases, he will stop, think, and declare that the wind has changed direction, when his mood has improved).

I have to admit, I like that concept. (Especially today, when I can tell I'm feeling a lot of free-floating frustration, irritation, and sadness). Though I'd probably be more prone to blame my bad mood on the fact that something is flowering and releasing pollen that I am allergic to. (And this being Oklahoma, that excuse works pretty much year-round: even in January, we have the Dread Mountain Cedar.)

Unfortunately, I don't also have a Growlery I can withdraw to. I just have to suck up my bad mood and go out and interact with people, and remind myself that I have to make a pretense of cheerfulness. (That old saw about fake-smiling to improve your mood? In my experience, it doesn't work.)

This morning when I woke up I had a headache, what feels like bordering on a migraine. I went ahead and got up, took an excedrin, did my workout anyway (in the misguided hope that maybe the exercise endorphins would overwhelm the headache). Took an allergy pill after the workout.

I still have a headache. Not bad enough to be incapacitating, but bad enough to be annoying. Also, my allergies are very bad - I've been coughing and sneezing.

I contemplated taking a sick day. But then I thought about how I have class today. And I had agreed to help with a new-student orientation thing. And how I have a meeting for a group of which I am the secretary. And I thought about having to call each of those places and explain to the person in charge that I wasn't feeling well, and try to hunt down someone to take the minutes of the meeting in my place...and I decided that having to call would just be more painful than actually going and doing what I needed to do. (And I'd probably feel guilty taking a sick day when I'm not really "sick.")

I am reserving the right to go home after my class, instead of working on research, if my headache doesn't get better.

I don't know. I just hope I don't wind up running up against anyone who is needlessly demanding, or whiny, or otherwise vexing to deal with this morning.