Ninth Blogiversary (Observed)

As I said last week, when I was yet once again being pecked to death by ducks, I was going to postpone any mention/discussion of my blogiversary.

First, because I missed the actual day, as it fell right in the middle of the Duck Attack, but second, because I needed some time to think, and maybe contemplate pictures.

I don't know. I don't really have a theme for this.



I guess nine years is a pretty long time to keep a journal sort of thing on the Internet. I know a lot of knitblogs started out about the time that I did. Some got big and famous and are still going on. (In fact, some of those bloggers apparently now make part/all of their living off of their books and public appearances.) Some changed (I know I don't talk about knitting nearly as much as I once did, partly because I'm busier with other things). Some ended as the person writing them had a change in life circumstances: students graduated from college and found that the work-world for them was not amenable to blogging (and perhaps, not even to knitting). Some folks had children, and needed to devote the time to them. Some folks may have even been TOLD to end the blog - either by family or by an employer. (crosses fingers and spits, lest that ever happen here.)

And some, I suppose, got bored with it. Or decided it wasn't for them. Or got no feedback/negative feedback and decided it wasn't worth it. (And honestly, how many times after a run of a week or more with no comments, I've wondered if I still have readers).

And some people who blogged - not just knitbloggers - moved over onto Facebook (which I do not do) and Twitter (which I do, though not with any sort of substance of consistency). Or to flickr. Or to Ravelry.

I have to admit, though, that I still LIKE the blogging format. I'm too verbose to be able to limit myself to 140-character bursts all the time. And Facebook is a little too in-your-face; for a while I was regularly getting "friend requests" from students, and I figured the simplest way to deal with those was to - if asked - remark that I'm not on Facebook.

(I realize this is my own prejudice talking here, but sometimes, from how I've heard friends of mine (I mean, in-real-life friends here) talk about Facebook, it almost sounds a little cliquish or something. Like, it's the table full of popular kids signing each other's yearbooks. And maybe, if I can once again make Everything Like Seventh Grade, Twitter is like the kid over in the corner of the room who has poor impulse control and blurts out whatever he thinks. And blogs are maybe more like the journals that the arty kids (or the just-plain-weird kids) kept, where they wrote out project ideas (if they were arty) or put down their deep thoughts or whatever. (And what a nightmare if some mean kid were to get ahold of that journal and broadcast the contents...which is why I do do SOME self-censorship in here).

I don't know where Ravelry would fit in. It's a little too pat to call it the Home Ec Club, and it's not really like that. But you get the idea...)

But I still like keeping the blog. It's been kind of a "safety valve" of sorts over the years, even though I am entirely aware that students or colleagues could run across it and read what I'm thinking. (Again: a certain degree of self-censorship or obfuscation on some topics).

A lot, and yet not a lot, has happened to me in nine years. I realize I'm a bit unusual in that (a) I still work in the same career, (b) still live in the same house, and (c) have not really had any major life-status changes (like marrying or having kids) in that time.

And at the same time, let's see: I received tenure and one promotion. (Still waiting on final news of the second one). I weathered the congregational split and probably near-death of the church I belonged to (We continue to go along. Money is always tight and always a worry, but we are still managing as of now). I wound up doing volunteer work I didn't think I'd be able to do (youth group) and then watched the main members of the youth group graduate and move on (I haven't had one this year: no one in that age group any more. Maybe in a few years when some of the middle school kids age up, or if we get some more members). I've lost a lot of people I cared about, both relatives and friends. I saw a very close relative be diagnosed with, and successfully go through, treatment for cancer.

I've become better about telling myself that I am the only person I have control over, and that sometimes you have to let people fail if they are bent on it. I am getting better at reading evaluation comments and deciding correctly if they address a behavior I need to change, or if they are someone lashing out in anger, and not really thinking. And I guess I've gotten better at being able to chalk up some of the weird random (or so it seems to me) stuff people do to, "Well, they have something else going on in their lives right now that's making them act this way; they do not mean it personally."

I don't know if I've gotten any better at finding balance in life. It seems that I'm always playing catch-up between feeling like I've slacked too much ("feeling like," in this case, is not the same as "actually have") and burning myself out from working too hard.

I'm also still too good at letting people bully me. And not good enough at looking at "rules" and saying "that's a stupid rule, I shouldn't have to follow that" and not following it. (I still believe that somewhere there is a Permanent Record that those kinds of infractions are recorded in, I think).

So in some ways I've changed, in a lot of other ways, not.

Also, over the past nine years...well, I've finished a few sweaters, almost-finished handquilting a quilt, pieced a bunch more quilt tops, made innumerable socks and toys and hats and scarves.

And collected some silly stuff.

And turned 40, and didn't do either of the things I thought I was going to "have" to do at 40: get my hair cut short ("all mature women wear short hair" though perhaps my level of maturity is questionable some days) and stop making, and in general, give up, toys.

But then I would not have the fun that is Re-Ment.

So: time to cut the cake, already!