Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What to do.

I took part in an online swap earlier this summer. It was a wee tiny swap, not some big, "We're saying 'spend a maximum of $25' but we know most people spend more" swap.

It was really small. Like, $5 or less of stuff.

But I had fun with my bit for my person - I did what I needed to do and sent it off well before the deadline (which was July 31). She got it and was happy.

I never got a package.

I'm really of two minds about this.

Part of me says, "Let it go. It's not important. Caring about it is childish."

The other part of me says: "But a swap is kind of a promise. The person didn't hold up their end of the bargain. It's not fair to me." (For the record: I don't think the person I sent to was the person supposed to be sending to me.)

And yet again, the first part of me says: "People have difficult stuff going on. Maybe your swapper just lost her job. Or maybe she has an ill relative."

And then the other part says: "Or maybe she's just lazy. Or maybe she figured she could get away with not sending anything." And that part of me gets huffy, and folds its arms, and says, "I'm never taking part in another online swap, since I got hosed in this one."

SO the question is: do I send a message to the swap-leader and say "hey....I didn't get anything?" (I know other people have not, as well), and see if she wants to send out a reminder? Or do I just say "It was a stupid $5 swap, let it go?"

Part of it is the principle of the thing, but also part of it is that it's depressing to go to the mailbox and find bills and junk all the time. But another part of it is I don't want to seem petty, demanding my tiny swap item if my swapper had her life blow up.

4 comments:

Chris Laning said...

Send the swapmeister a polite note. If you want, you can say "it's not that I'm angry or anything, just thought you should know."

It's useful because, if the person in charge knows about it, they are less likely to invite that person to participate in future swaps. Or at least to keep more of an eye on them to make sure they follow through this time.

Charlotte said...

I'd let whoever organized the swap know. She can send a discreet reminder or take whatever action she feels is appropriate. If you don't speak up, this person who didn't keep her side of the bargain, can do it again and again. So, if you want, you can think of it as protecting all those future disappointed people.

I've not really done very many swaps for this very reason.

purlewe said...

(I read that you already contacted your swap leader, but I want to say this anyway.)

I have also been the person who has gone without in a swap. I know that you don't fault the swap leader, but it is best to tell them. I have often gone out of my way as swap leader to get something together for peopel who slack. I have also banned people from participating in the future. I am currently NOT planning a swap for a group I run specifically b'c the last 2 swaps were such horrendous eff-ups. And these are people they KNOW and SEE in person often.

So you did the right thing. If nothign else the swap leader is on alert to pay attention.

Spike said...

Nod. Swaps on-line are promises--"I will do this for X, X will do for Y, Y will do for Z and Z will do for me." If Z falls through, then the swapmaster/mistress need to know.

I'm in one online group dedicated to art doll swaps. What makes it work for us is the constant communication. I've received notes about "Hey, life blew up, but I'm saving pennies for postage--haven't forgotten you." and heaven knows I've SENT my share of "Muse packed her stuff and went home to Mother. Will get on the ball this weekend, come heck or deep puddles."

So yes, you did the right thing in sending a note that you didn't get yours.

P.S. Who knows--the Post Office isn't perfect. Your swap pal may have sent her package off timely and the mail ate it.