feeling somewhat hopeful

Dare I say it? I actually feel somewhat hopeful in regards this full professor thing. I know what I need to do to make up the portfolio. (And I hate to say it, but my packrat tendencies will serve me in good stead here: I literally never throw away a piece of documentation. My Friday afternoon/Saturday plans are to methodically go through my office and extract every piece of paper I have that I need to put in the portfolio. (And, I think, at the same time, send for recycling all the papers - old handouts, expired student tests - that I don't need to keep).

I also am working on lining up letters of recommendation. You're supposed to have a few. I already asked a colleague I co-teach a class with (he's junior to me, so cannot serve on my committee, so there will be no conflict of interest there, and he was enthusiastic about doing the letter). And I'm going to ask the library director, as she and I served on a search committee together, and she and I know each other fairly well. And my former student who's now a regional director in TNC. And I realized this morning that I could ask Diana - she was my grad student, and we also taught together and worked together on a couple projects. And maybe one of the people in the OAS Education Section, seeing as I've been chair twice. I am reasonably certain these are all people who will (a) have time and (b) be able to write a strongly positive letter.

(I've already promised myself - this whole thing is due Oct. 15 - that for Mid-Fall Break, even though I've been striving of late to be frugal - I'm going to go yarn shopping. Because even though I feel hopeful now, I'm sure there will be periods when either I feel like I'm drowning in paperwork, or where I can't find the exact pocket folder specified (yes, there are specifications regarding the types of folders and binders and such we use), or where my confidence crashes and I look at what I've done and grab my temples and wail, "But it's so LITTLE compared to what I COULD HAVE DONE")

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I also started taking flaxseed oil again. I re-read some of my old issues of Eating Well over the weekend and ran across an article by a guy who thinks that many Americans are not getting enough Omega 3 acids, and that that may be a contributing factor to poor mood and possibly even poor cognition. I know fish oil has lots more and is lots better - but every fish oil supplement I've tried, well, let's just politely say they don't agree well with me. (And I dislike most fish. Perhaps I could have a mild allergy, even - it seems that many fish do not agree well with me). So the flaxseed oil is the best compromise I can come up with.

Walnuts are also rich in it but I don't generally eat enough walnuts for that to be a significant source.

Now, three or four days probably really isn't long enough for there to be an effect, but I do feel a bit less draggy and a bit less, I don't know, dysphoric? Maybe that's the best word for how I was feeling earlier. (Again, it could be situational: prior to yesterday's meeting I was half expecting, as I said, to get the "You know, you CAN apply, but don't expect to be granted it" sense - because of all the budget rumors I've heard - but I didn't hear anything of that).

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Also, someone posted this on CPAAG and it just made me laugh. And I know there are other ST: TNG fans (or even just Patrick Stewart fans) who read this, and they might find it funny too.