You never know when or how something you say may affect someone.

I make an effort to be kind - in fact, in some instances, I may be too mild and too calm in front of classes, for example, when they do poorly on a test. But I tend to figure it is best to err on the side of not giving offense. Not so much to protect MYSELF from someone coming and yelling at me, but because, in the old saying attributed to Plato, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."

But once in a while, you say something that was unintentionally helpful.

I have one student in my ecology class. She is a very interesting person and strikes me as someone who cares a lot about learning and is very committed to her education. A week or two ago, she stopped me in the hall and quietly let me know she would not be in lecture the next day, as her grandfather had died and the funeral was during class time. I told her I was sorry to hear that, and that I understood her need to be absent that day.

Well, yesterday, she came into my office as I was working, and she said, "You know how you were talking about soils on Monday, and you were talking about how they form from rock?" And I said yes. She said that her grandfather had been a gardener and that he had had her help him work the soil, and he had talked about the soil and the rocks. And she said: "Thank you. That made me think about my grandfather and I smiled for the rest of the day."

I'm glad I was able to bring up a happy memory for her, especially that close to his passing. I mean, it was totally inadvertent and unknown on my part, but it still makes me happy that she felt that way.