I did finish two of the in-progress pairs of socks over break (Pictures to come later; I didn't have time to grab any this morning). I finished the Grandiflora socks, which actually came out a little tight (if I make the pattern again, I'm going to do the larger size) and Kew. I really pushed to get Kew done and kind of burned myself out on knitting for a few days.

I had also taken along the purple "simple" socks, but didn't get as much done on them. I seem to be in a situation now where, when I knit, I want something more complex to work on. I don't know why. I tend to bounce back and forth between wanting stuff that's really simple - all stockinette - and wanting stuff I have to pay attention to.

I did start a new pair - I was going to use some Dream in Color I had for the Karatsu (which are named not for dragonflies, as I said, but a pottery style) socks from Judy Sumner's book. But the pattern calls for three skeins of Shibui sock (which is nearly 600 yards) and they are knee-type socks, so I had no idea if the 450 yards or so of the Dream in Color I had would be enough, nor did I feel like trying to rewrite the pattern to be shorter. So instead, I started a pair of "Kimono" socks with the Dream in Color. It's a nice pattern - it's sort of a not-very-lacy lace, and relies mainly on yarn overs and ssks and k2togs for the pattern - none of the unusual fancy Japanese stitches that I have never worked and am maybe a little bit scared of right now. (There's one, on the Haiku socks, where you have to reach down three rows and grab loops, and I'm afraid I'd count wrong* or something)

(*I probably spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about whether I'm doing stuff wrong. I made a rather spectacular mistake yesterday in lab - we were doing tree and shrub ID and I called buckbrush, beautyberry. The only defense I can give is that the leaves are just barely out on things. One of my colleagues was along and she caught it, so the students don't know the wrong thing now, but I feel really bad about it, because this is supposed to be my "thing." I'm not good at allowing myself to make a mistake and move on, all evening long my Inner Critic was berating me for it. Especially with the spectre of Peer Review coming up)

So my compromise with my Inner Critic was to write up a list of what I Very Absolutely and I Am Not Joking Must Get Done! today. (I have no classes; it is Curriculum Contest). So far I've done one thing on the list of 6.

(I really, really don't like the idea of peer review. I understand the "why" and all, but the problem is, we all have such different styles that I worry that we're going to get lists of "strengths" and "weaknesses" where what one person declares a "strength" another will have declared as a "weakness" and then it will be all The Animal School again for me, where I damage my webbed feet trying to learn to climb trees, because one person told me a strength I had was a weakness, and that they recommended I do xyz instead, even though I don't do xy or z well...Also, it just seems to me, we have a department that works pretty well: our students graduate well-prepared, the ones who apply to grad or professional school tend to get accepted, the ones who apply for jobs in the field tend to get them, faculty evaluations (at least those I've seen, from mine and from those I've reviewed for T and P) are at or above the national averages. So why mess with it? Why make people like me - who are very insecure about their abilities - even more insecure? Why give people fodder to talk about "Do you know how Y teaches? I sat in on his class. He doesn't do discussion; it's all lecture!" and stuff like that. I just worry that this will negatively affect the collegiality of my department)

So anyway. I don't know. It doesn't help that I read things about Schools May Be Abolishing Tenure and such and wonder if in the future I'm going to have to interview for my job every year or something. Because really and truly, I never feel like I'm quite good enough. I never feel like I'm doing quite enough, or that I'm working hard enough. I could push myself more. I could be more monomaniacal about teaching and research - drop the piano, drop knitting, and STOP SURFING THE DAMN INTERNET. I don't know.

I suppose I'd find a way to make myself miserable if I didn't have this specific one.