Tuesday, January 27, 2009

(This was written Monday afternoon. When I was hamstrung from doing what I wanted to do because of NO PRINTER CONNECTIVITY (boo). Depending on the weather and cancellation-whims of a particular group tomorrow, I will either be at home, comfy knitting, or risking my neck trying to drive safely through likely ice to go to a workshop over in Ardmore).

Anyway. More on the blogiversary.

Ironically enough, A Very Popular Blogger (Yarn Harlot), who even Has Written Several Well-Loved and Well-Received Books is having a blogiversary - as noted inwhat this post.

(I don't read the blog regularly - pop in now and then - I figure if she's said anything particularly earthshaking I will hear it on one of the blogs I do surf through regularly, or on Ravelry.* Nothing against her, it's just, I guess, I prefer to give the less-well-known blogs a little reading love with my limited reading time.)

(*I know I don't have near the commenters, or the readers, that she does. So when she refers to her Blog as a sort of collective of her writing + comments from readers, that doesn't really apply here.

I WILL say I love and cherish every comment I get, even if I'm sometimes bad about responding to them. Hint hint).

Anyway, one of the comments she makes about the blog rings true for me, even if, as I said, some days I open up my mailbox and am a bit saddened to find 40 people who will happily sell me a "fake genuine rolexxx watch" (or at least take my money for same) but nary a comment-notification.

As she says:


I am less lonely because of The Blog.
I feel welcome many places because of The Blog.
I am less of a crazy knitting person because The Blog is crazy too.


Less lonely: that is true in both an immediate and a more cosmic sense. "Immediately" speaking, I often feel lonely because I am, quite literally, the only person I know in real life who is as craft-obsessed as I am. Some of the other people I know MAY quilt once in a while, or MAY do embroidery, or knows how to knit. But I don't know ANYONE (well, outside of my mother) who ALWAYS has some project - let alone more than one - going on at a time.

But in the blogworld, that's more or less the norm. People who knit have several projects going (except for a few smug sorts who claim they ONLY buy the yarn sufficient for a single project and then ONLY work on that project until it is done). Life is messy, people are weird. But there were a lot of times that I felt like the only one that was weird in this particular way until the blog.

Lots of other people don't understand. My colleagues try to, and they comment favorably on things I've knit, but I don't think they really understand the drive to make stuff. I've had a few people (not friends, more commonly random strangers when I was knitting somewhere public) speculate on WHY someone would "bother" to do such a thing, when as we all know, you can buy socks for next to nothing at Wal-Mart.

The explanation I could give would not only take too long, but I sometimes wonder how well it would be received. So I just smile quietly and shrug and affirm to myself that I may be "wasting my time" knitting socks, but I am also sitting in the doctor's waiting room doing something other than just sitting...

But the blog also makes me feel less lonely in a larger sense. I have a few regular commenters, a few contacts, people I've come to think of as friends.

I'm not that great at making friends. I have to be honest about that. It seems that it was easier when I was younger (I seem to remember, though this is probably a false memory, that my friend K. and I became friends while standing outside the Intro Bio classroom waiting for the class previous to ours to end. We had a brief conversation and as I remember it, one of us said something along the lines of "You seem cool. Want to be friends?" and the other one said, "Cool. Yeah" and it went on from there...but as I said, it probably wasn't that simple in real life, even though that's how I seem to remember it.)

But now, it's hard. Everyone gets fossilized into their own beliefs and rituals and such once you pass out of your early 20s. Some people have families that take up all of their time. Some people seem to have more drama in their lives than seems right.

Most of the people I regard on a friendly basis are busy enough that I do not feel comfortable calling them up and going, "Hey, want to go grab lunch together tomorrow?" As easy as that was in grad school, it's different when you're out in the workforce. When you have meetings. Or when you have kids prone to getting sick. Or when you have a spouse you'd really RATHER eat with, not this crazy-haired socially-awkward bespectacled woman who just called you up and asked you to EAT with them, of all things....

But somehow having the blog, and sometimes getting feedback (hint, hint) makes it a little easier to live in a world full of those closed-door nuclear family units.

As for Feeling Welcome In Many Places...maybe not so much for me. I presume what she is saying is that the fame generated by the blog has opened doors for her. That she's been welcomes (even lionized, I dare say) in places where her presence as an "unknown" would probably be ignored, or as an author-but-not-blogger would be met by 40 rather than 400 at a book signing.

So of course that does not fit this little blog. And I don't always feel welcome in places, even places where maybe I should. And while I am (at times) socially-awkward enough not to realize that I'm being "frozen out" or that people are consciously trying to make me feel uncomfortable so I will leave, the blog has little to do with that.

Perhaps, well...I have met one other blogger. And I'd meet (and even eat lunches with) others if schedules and locations ever worked out. (Being in the literal middle of nowhere has its drawbacks). So maybe that's some form of feeling more welcome.

And then finally: being less of a Crazy Knitting Person because The Blog (in the sense of the collective of readers and commenters) is Crazy too.

I don't know as much about this. I'd never presume to opine on the Craziness (or lack thereof) of readers and commenters. Perhaps I would be more prone to say I FEEL less Crazy because every time I post some worried screed on how I think a certain way or do a certain thing, and I think that makes me Officially Crazy, some kind commenter will talk me off the ledge, so to speak, and reassure me that whatever it was, while perhaps not statistically "normal" (in the sense of "The norm is for American families to have 2.5 children" - and of course there's no such thing as .5 child), is really not that dangerously unhinged. That some of the things that I think certify me as Too Weird for the World are really actually things a lot of people feel or do or think about, but because other people are maybe better at dissembling to the world (and perhaps, to themselves), I never see The Weird that exists in other folks.

And that perhaps, in even a few cases, the traits that I condemn as Weird in myself are actually, perhaps, even a little bit endearing, and certainly traits that make me different from the mass of humanity.

I do also think the blog (lower-case, here - I am talking about my own writing rather than the Collective Blog of the Yarn Harlot - where the comments take up more space than her individual posts) perhaps makes me less crazy because it serves as a sort of safety valve - a place where I can post about things that bug me, or things that make me wildly enthusiastic, or things that I worry about, so I'm not going around SPEWING them to colleagues or people at church or the few friends I have outside of either of those circles. And that makes me less crazy, or at least it makes me APPEAR less crazy, which is maybe enough of the same thing.

So, happy birthday little blog. Seven years is a long time in the Internet world - long enough for the Really Cool People to have abandoned blogging (apparently in favor of Twitter or perhaps some app I haven't even heard of). The fact that I've stayed at the same place and with even the same template shows either an extreme interest in content over style, or an overblown sense of loyalty, or perhaps stuck-in-the-mud-ness. Make of it what you will.

Now we begin year eight.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Blogiversary Erica! I visit everyday and rarely comment but thought that this warranted one. :)

Anonymous said...

I feel a bit guilty about not commenting more often because I'm always wishing I got more comments on my blog but... I don't know... a lot of times I just can't think of anything to say; other times I think of too much to say and think, "nah, that's going to be too long for a comment."

I've always considered being "weird" to be a desirable quality, or at least more interesting than being normal but I don't usually have the nerve to put my weirdness out there for everyone to see.

Spike said...

Isn't it ironic that we bond on this faceless internet over our freakish obsessions--and yet we can't discuss these same things with the folks we "skinterface" with for fear of driving them away?

I wonder that maybe there are other craft people all around me hiding in their stash-padded closets and we walk past each other with our blinders on, whispering "don't see me, don't see me, don't see me."

AvenSarah said...

Happy blogiversary! You know I'm always here, reading, even though I'm not always so good at commenting...

In fact, I'm (sort of) contemplating restarting my own blog, because while I've continued reading blogs these past two years, I've felt left out of the community/conversation because I don't have my own any more... but it's been so long that my friend's server has changed (he hosts the blog for me) and I can't sign in to edit the page! So I'll have to wait until he gets time to fix that for me... and then see if I really do have time, and energy, to post often enough to make it worth it...
Anyway, I don't think you're particularly weird at all, frankly. I hope that doesn't offend you -- but boy, I know some REALLY weird people, and you're just, y'know, crafty, and kind, and interested in things, and thoughtful... not so strange, after all!
:)

Anonymous said...

I'm so very glad your blog exists. Funny, but I find it a stable (not crazy or weird place) and think of you the same way.

-- Grace in MA

Anonymous said...

Happy Blogiversary! Writing posts for seven years is something to celebrate.

alh said...

Happy blogiversary! I recently had mine as well and had some similar thoughts, although I never quite got around to posting them. I would like you to know that you're comments on my blog (and over at Rav) have saved my sanity days of late, so if that is the result of putting yourself out there, in my little corner of the world it a very important thing!

Lydia said...

Happy blogiversary!

I really enjoy reading you.

Anonymous said...

Happy Blogiversary! Seven years is, oh, like five centuries or so on the Internet -- quite a record. As for finding other people who take pleasure in making things, and even have rather more than a few projects going on at once, are there any fiber arts guilds/group in your area, such as quilters, knitters, spinners, weavers? Such groups are often less exclusive than their name implies, in terms of handwork interests.

Astrid

Bess said...

AT least you have 9 comments. I don't believe I ever got 9 comments in the history of my poor little blog. I suspect most folk have fallen asleep by the time they get to the comment section.

But you know I am a regular anyway and any time you are in Virginia you just give me a call and we can have lunch together.