In a bad mood this afternoon. I had some dealing with a difficult person this morning and it has the likelihood to blow up in my face no matter what I do (short of rolling over and giving in to what this person wants, the thought of which sticks in my craw too badly for me to even consider it).
So maybe I'm a bit sour, but when I looked at the craftzine blog, and they mentioned the Knitty surprises, which one did they picture and talk about? Not the lovely "Hey Teach" but a tank - because Vickie Howell, who is one of the Knitting Cool Kids, designed the pattern.
I hate coolness. I hate living in a culture where popularity gets your face splashed everywhere but hard work (if you're not popular) is only rewarded with more work, and with being forgotten after you're gone.
I would be willing to bet money that if I designed the coolest, best-est sweater in the whole world, it wouldn't get much coverage, simply because I am fat, old, not-cover-girl-looking, not "alternative" and not a rocker.
But let some celebutante (I'm not referring specifically to Howell here, let me make that clear) put needles to yarn and produce a garter-stitch scarf, and everyone's all over it.
I know, I know: you should do stuff you love because it satisfies you. But when you work in a job where the main feedback you get is "you screwed up!" or "I believe you screwed up because I have a giant sense of entitlement!" and you only know you're doing an OK job because no one says anything to you about your work, it's really hard not to look at people like Vickie Howell with a certain envy.
To quote a horrible, pathetic, needy character from SNL: I just want to be loved. Is that so WRONG?
Bah. I'm going to watch my House dvds and work more on the sweater sleeve.
5 comments:
i looked at that tank, and all i could think was "sell out." i've always thought of knitty as patterns for the people, BY the people. and i didn't think it was that fantastic, either. definitely not for us well-endowed ladies. with the trend being for tops that can accomodate all shapes, that one just reinforces the whole "sell out" idea for me.
I think the tank got featured because of the skin exposure. I looked at it and noticed the model had to wear something under it because it was so bare. Not anything I'd want to knit ... or wear.
Your comments about an "unknown" not getting recognition reminds me of the situation when you first get out of school and apply for work. The employers all want someone who has experience. But newby worker can't get experience because no one will hire him/her. Likewise, knit designers get to be famous in some mysterious way that I've yet to discover.
I hope you get some "love" and "recognition" for your work at the conference you're attending. I'm sure that work is worth it.
I can relate. Messed up priorities and values these days.
This resonates with me: "But when you work in a job where the main feedback you get is 'you screwed up!' or 'I believe you screwed up because I have a giant sense of entitlement!' and you only know you're doing an OK job because no one says anything to you about your work...."
Like you, I work in an institution of higher learning; unlike you, I'm part of the support staff. I know I do a very good job most of the time, but it's fairly unusual for anyone to say so. There are those rare profs who are simpatico, but for the most part it's me me me. If they screw up, do they apologize? Seldom. But I have to be a big girl and accept it.
Melody
Want to do a Hey Teach KAL? I need to go stash diving, but surely there is something that would work in there.
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