(I posted about this earlier, then took down the post. I don't know how to summarize this easily and in a non-whiny way).
Apparently the grape fight (and another thing that I haven't mentioned here), brought out a bunch of complaints. There was a "surprise" meeting today to discuss. I'm not happy. One of the possibilities may be that the youth group disbands. I explained that I'd laid down the law, and one of the instigators of the grape fight won't be back, but apparently there are Certain Individuals who think the youth group isn't worth the effort, apparently this has been the case for a while and no one's told me, that it's not bringing in the "right" kind of kids. So I don't know. I'm just sad about it. I thought things were going fairly well (well, at least up until the grape fight). I mean, these are primarily 13-year-old boys. And 13 year olds are different than they used to be. They're even different when I was a 13 year old, and I remember being 13 as about the most miserable time there was to be alive, mainly because of how the kids acted. Thirteen year olds know exactly what to do to push people's buttons but they've not yet learned tact; they're also very good at dreaming up mischief but not yet very good at thinking through the consequences of something before they do it.
I offered to quit but that wasn't what they wanted; I don't really know what it is that they want. It was almost like "You're going to listen to people's complaints but there's not really anything to be done." How on earth does that help, other than making me sad and self-doubtful? They told me I was still doing a "good" job but I find that impossible to believe given the complaints.
So I'm just kind of sad and angry and frustrated and this is one of those times I really wish I had someone I could just come home to and cry on the shoulder of. Because I feel like all I can do in this is cry.
(And yeah, I'm kind of offended about the "right" kind of kids thing. I'm not entirely sure what was meant but I have a horrible feeling it was code for "kids from the right side of the tracks." I'm sorry, but I work with whoever comes. I'm not going to exclude someone based on their family status or the amount of money they have.)
4 comments:
Who are the complainers? Are they decision makers within the congregation? Are they parents of other kids in the group? Is there a way to involve them so they can see what actually is going on? Are the kids aware that this meeting took place? If not, can you tell them about it and let them know that having the group is not a given and unless there is improvement, there may no longer be a group? If they value the group, are they willing to work to make it better, to involve more kids?
Charlotte
Ohhh, the "wrong kind of kids", huh? That'd burn me up three ways from Sunday. In fact, it DOES burn me up three ways from Sunday, on your behalf. Considering that first of all, you all are Christians for cripe's sake.
And second of all, the "wrong kinds of kids" don't necessarily have that many places to go, especially since what you've said about the nearest shops and stuff makes it sound like a lot of fun stuff is several towns away. You're giving the wrong kinds of kids a safe place. They may not consistently understand how their actions affect that safe place because they're 13, but the fact that they keep coming back speaks volumes.
has it occurred to them that in his day, Jesus was not considered the "right" kind of kid, either. you might want to point that out. (i'm thinking of the pharisees, and how he answered the questions, when his parents coudln't find him)
That's really awful. Those are the worst kind of meetings; nothing gets done and emotions just get fanned back up with no good outcome.
And add me to the people offended by that comment about kinds of kids. It sounds like the group is reaching out to-- and making a difference for-- kids who really need it. If they aren't the right kind of kids, who are?
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