Self-comforting.

I used to be the kind of person - when I was a little kid I mean - who had a tendency to retreat into a fantasy world (I called it "telling myself stories") when I was stressed out or bad things were going on. (No, never anything "pathologically" bad, just the sort of garden-variety bad - being teased in school, or upsetting a glass of milk over one's homework, or parents' plans changing and them not being able to take you to the library when they said they would).

I think I maybe need to pick that up again. And in a way, I am. I'm thinking about projects I'd like to do.

For one thing: the Bamboo Stitch scarf in the new KnitSimple. (This is the "replacement" magazine for the defunct Family Circle Easy Knitting. I do think it's getting better each issue; there are some nice things in there). I don't have any bulkyweight yarn designated for a scarf (and I don't think the Renata Teboldi "Elaine" would work, it needs a pattern that will either break up or properly take advantage of the tendency to pool). But I'm thinking of using the stitch pattern with more stitches on a finer-weight yarn. I think I have some green marled dk stashed away, to become a gift scarf either for "someone" or for the Dulaan box.

Actually, this time of year I just get an urge to make (or at least start) a whole bunch of scarves in different stitch patterns just to have the fun of knitting on something that doesn't require shaping but is kind of pretty and requires a bit more skill than just plain old garter stitch.

And for another: starting the Pearl Buck swing jacket. Working with non-fuzzy yarn again. Because, the fuzzy alpaca for the hoodie is getting me down right now.

And hats. I need to start the phi hat or the e hat. Now that I've got the yarn on hand for it. I also have enough in a third color ("Basil") for the funny little peaked hat in one of the Mags Kandis books; it always appealed to me because (and this is where I get weird) it looked like the funny little peaked hat that the Fillyjonk who Believed in Disasters is pictured as wearing. So of course I want one, even though I'm the only one who imagines the allusion (Well, now you will, too).

I'm also thinking about the cardigan in the most recent Interweave knits: the Sienna Cardigan.. I have some wool in my stash - several months back I went a little nuts at Elann and bought a sweater's worth each of their plain wool in a color called "Freesia" (a bright buttery yellow) and in a "Pottery red" (I'd call it barn red or brick red, but whatever). The pottery red is tentatively designated for a sweater called Garden Paths, but I don't know...I'm leaning towards Sienna for it and the yellow for the garden sweater. Or I might change my mind tomorrow.

That said - once again I'm amazed at the speed of some knitters. Minestrone Soup is talking about how she's nearly done with the cardigan, and apparently it's not taking her that long. It makes me sad that it can take me months to finish anything.

And I printed out Kew from the most recent Knitty; I have some nice heathered denimy blue sockyarn that I think would look good in that pattern.

I also need to sometime obtain a size L crochet hook for the scarf thingy out of Stitch and Bitch. (I will try at the mart of Wal. I hope they have the Crystallites line or at least the Balene II. I'm not as fond of the cold heavy aluminium crochet hooks any more). I want to start that. I'm kind of starting to fall in love with crochet again. Oh, and I have some silly fuzzy yarn in my stash that I figured would be too hard to knit with but which might crochet up okay; it's going to become a hat, I even found a pattern that will work in "Hip to Crochet."

I crocheted a whole lot when I was an undergrad; I didn't really think I had knitting skills and also crocheting - it was easier to wing it, easier to be free-form. I made lots of 3-d type things, including some "Christmas critters" that my mom still puts out as decorations each year. I also made a huge (and to my thinking) magnificent doll version of Petruschka, where I just kind of winged it and increased and decreased as I felt I needed and turned out something that took even my self-critical breath away. (And damn, now I wish I had written down the pattern. It was that good.) I still have it- it's up at my parents' house. I suppose I should get it sometime when I'm up visiting. I mean - this thing had separate arms and legs that bent and clothing - the traditional loose fitting Punchinella type suit and even the funny little Krakow-Polish men's traditional costume inspired hat.

That was actually the last thing I crocheted for a long time; perhaps I used up my crochet mojo on it.

There are all these projects - and more - that swirl around in my head. At odd times I will start thinking, wow, I should start on x y or z. But often when I get home I'm tired enough that I don't, or I look at all I've got going and I don't. Or I realize I have to wind off the yarn first, or figure out a new stitch pattern or something.

I think I said earlier that tiredness was the main enemy of creativity in my life; I think that's true.

*****
my poison ivy is healing I guess. For those of you who have read the Narnia books a lot - remember that scene in Dawn Treader where Eustace has turned into a dragon, and to un-dragon himself, he (or maybe it's Aslan?) has to scratch off all his dragon skin, and apparently it hurts like hell? That's kind of how my arms feel right now.

I'm definitely hitting my friend the ornithologist up for his offer of "Ivy Block" before the next time I'm going somewhere out in the field. If I didn't have such a fear and loathing of corticosteroids I'd have gone to the doctor and demanded a shot. But then again, I have no need to be scrubbing my floor at 2 am like I was the last time after I got a steroid treatment for something. And I've been in a bad enough mood these past couple days without it being chemically enhanced.