The envelope please....

(I feel as if I should have Bert Parks, or, since he's apparently gone on to his reward, John O'Hurley, singing something here)

First of all, it was kind of a challenge to decide. Honestly, most of the jokes, I'd heard before, which doesn't necessarily make them less funny...but. The one that edged the others out not only was my favorite type of humor ever (bizarre situation where someone says, not something bizarre as expected, but something totally everydayish) AND was a joke I'd not heard before.

So, the Grand Prize Winner is Lydia, for:

" A pink kangaroo hopped into a candy store and asked for a Hershey bar.

The counter man thought for a moment, and decided 'This is a pink kangaroo! She won't know how much it costs.' He told her it would be seventeen dollars.

She nodded and started digging in her pouch. It took her a while to find her wallet, and there was an awkward silence.

'You know,' said the counter man, 'we don't get many pink kangaroos around here.'

The kangaroo snorted. 'Seventeen dollars for a Hershey bar? I can see why not.'


(I HAD to do that one in pink. Pink kangaroos rule).

The first-runner up is Enjay, for

" Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars.

During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent ..." "

Bonus points for it being the joke chosen "funniest joke ever" or something by a UK website.

I also HAVE to give a Ms. Congeniality prize...because there was someone who, although her entry made me laugh, did not exactly follow the rules of the contest, as her entry was not a joke per se, and I regard the entry as a bending of the rules. Perhaps not rising QUITE to the level of Captain-Kirk-and-the-Kobiyashi-Maru rule-bending, but rule-bending nonetheless. So let's say this is the entrant that had a bit too much Vaseline visible on her teeth, or that you could see the body-tape keeping the swimsuit bottom from creeping up....

So, our Ms. Congeniality is:

TChem!

She sent me a picture of herself, 'infested' by her knitted version of the Brain Slug from Futurama. (I will admit that not only did it make me laugh, but I felt a wee pang of guilt that she may have made the slug SOLELY for the contest...and knowing how limited MY knitting time is, I'd be kind of cheezed if I went to that trouble and didn't get recognized).

I'd post a link to the picture but I don't know if she wants me to do that or not, and I don't know if the picture's still up on the site. (Or - maybe she'll post it on her site now)

So, here's the deal: If each of you will e-mail me with your mailing address, I will get your prizes out as soon as I have time (sigh; not Tuesday any more. Tuesday is now Car Day. Maybe Thursday).

Lydia, please tell me your choice of the prizes listed.

Enjay, please tell me your first and second choice. If Lydia chooses your first choice, you will get your second choice.

TChem, your prize is already determined so I just need your address.

(I'll also try emailing each of you to let you know.)