The rest of yesterday was a difficult day, too.

Youth Group was particularly frustrating. I don't know what caused it, but there were a lot of bad interpersonal conflicts going on. A shoving match broke out during the game time (both of the kids got a three minute time in the "penalty box," courtesy of me). People were sniping at each other during the meal, during the lesson, during the games. Several kids got the idea of moving their chairs away from one other kid every time she sat down, or preventing another (new) kid from sitting anywhere. (That really got to me: there was a time when I was that kid that everyone moved away from, or played "musical chairs" so I could not sit, and I remember how it feels).

At one point I got so fed up - I was trying to ask them to count off to be teams and the kids were "gaming" the system - moving around so that they would be sure to be on a team with their friends - that I just set down my Bible, said to the other adult present "I need to get a breath of air" and walked out the back door. Because, if I had stayed, either the Wicked Witch of the West voice would have come out or I would have started bawling. I was really tempted, once I walked out the back door, to keep walking, out to my car, and drive home. But I'm not that kind of person, so I took a deep breath, went back in, and said "We're burning daylight. You get into teams now or there will be no game." Even then it was difficult because one kid didn't want to play kickball (which is the best game given the set-up we have) and we didn't have enough people for him to sit on the sideline. And one kid started throwing walnuts from the walnut tree at everyone else. And the shoving match. And people bunting when we made it clear bunts were not allowed. And just all kinds of frustrating stuff.

I don't know - I don't know if the kids have been recess-deprived this week, or if it's a testing week at school, or if the fact that the four oldest and biggest boys were off helping some of the men do some repairs (the older boys are often the ones who serve as "models" or say "oh, grow up" to the kids who are acting up). Or maybe it was that a big cold front was coming in. But at any rate, it was major frustration for me.

And at the end, one of the kids was talking about "I'll just go to that other church. I like that other church. It's more fun." I don't know if he's sophisticated enough to realize how that was like a knife in my heart, and he was doing it specifically to hurt me, or if he was just acting out because he was frustrated. But anyway. I'm tired and sad and this evening I am NOT doing ANYTHING for anyone else. I am doing for myself this evening, because pretty much this whole week has been me doing stuff for other people. I am going home and I am seriously tempted to even take the damn phone off the hook, because most of yesterday afternoon was spent dealing with multiple phone calls.

with the approximately 45 minutes of free time I did have yesterday afternoon, I picked up the 84 stitches along the buttonhole band of the Bookworm Vest. I don't like picking up stitches much.