You Know You're From Ohio When... |
You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami. You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital. You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange! You've heard of 3.2% beer. Schools close for the state basketball tournament. You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south." You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot. You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer. You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes. You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers. Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island. Down south to you means Kentucky. You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ohio. |
Oh, Tuscarawas! Just that word makes me feel a little homesick.
A couple of other observations: I grew up in Northeast Ohio, so I grew up thinking:
Every city in the nation had a radio station that broadcast only polka, and broadcast for part of the day in Polish or Slovak.
Thursday lunch is always Gyros at the Greek Orthodox Church.
Noble Roman's makes the best pizza.
The way to eat chili is to serve it over rice. And it has to have beans. And you serve it with saltine crackers on the side.
It's not summer until it's warm enough to go swimming at Silver Springs (okay, so that's a VERY town-specific thing, but still).
The last field trip of the school year is the "educational" trip to Sea World (Is there still a Sea World in Aurora? Any Ohioans reading this?)
Edited, 4/26: I found the Cleveland one. Since I grew up near enough Cleveland to sing the "Garfield 1-2323" jingle (Oh, my gosh, I had forgotten that and now it comes flooding back...) and also to have cared about the Buzzard Morning Zoo and the fact that the "antichrist" DID move the Browns to Baltimore, here it is:
You Know You're From Cleveland When... |
Your idea of fine cuisine includes keilbasa and Stroh's beer You think the Antichrist walks among us and moved to Baltimore in 1995 You refer to Pittsburgh as a Third World nation You have to look at a map before you realize Cincinnati is NOT in Kentucky You think political correctness involves using the term "certain ethnic" when telling a joke You believe plastic lawn flamingos are essential in any landscaping project Your second car is completely dissolved by salt by the time April rolls around The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart You actually remember when Dennis Kucinich was mayor You see nothing wrong with wearing white sox with black shoes, even when wearing a tux Party music involves an accordion You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World You know more about Frankie Yankovic than Weird Al Yankovic Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999 You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood. You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does. You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one. You hate country music, don't know anyone that does like country music, and yet WGAR just won the country music station of the year. You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away. You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world. The Tri-C jingle "students for life" scares the hell out of you. You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath. You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry, but don't really understand it. "Good Morning from the Buzzard Morning Zoo" is a jingle you'll never forget. Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies. You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga. You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart. You see Christmas lights still up in July. You love BW-3, but have no clue what the heck weck is. You find yourself singing "Garfield 1-2323" in the shower. You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City. You have never ridden in a taxi. You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can. You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale. You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying. You really don't know what the Warehouse District is, you just know that it's a great place to party. You know who the Jake really is You hate Baltimore and you have never been there. St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and you aren't Irish. You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl. You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999 when the Browns came back. You heard Bill Clinton and Drew Carey love Parma Pierogies, but you have yet to ever eat there. You know Tower City isn't a city at all. You're Polish. Stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine. At least half of your wardrobe is Tribe apparel. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Cleveland. |
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