transcript of an actual conversation between me and my friend, D.:
(we were discussing post-Thanksgiving shopping)

D: I actually went out shopping on Friday, but I was on narcotics
Me: (????)
D: My sister [her sister is a dermatologist] removed a cyst from my back and gave me these pain pills. So then, I was like [she adopts a glazed-eye, "high" facial expression] 'Let's go to the Hobby Lobby. I want to go to the Hobby Lobby.' And so my sister drove me there.
Me: Did you buy anything?
D: Yeah, I bought these trees...they're these fake trees, they're really skinny. I got them home and [D's husband] was unloading the car, and he was like 'Why did you buy these?' and I said 'for the porch' and he said 'but they're ugly'
Me: so the female version of 'beer goggles' is that when you're on pain meds, you go shopping and think ugly stuff is cute?
D: (laughs)
Me: I dare you to go back to the Hobby Lobby and return them, to go up to the Customer Service desk and go 'yeah, um, I was high when I bought these...'
D: (laughs). And the guy overcharged me for it, too. I think he charged me for a five-foot tree and it was only three feet
Me: But you didn't really care at that point.
D: (laughs)