Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I finished the amigurumi cat. I have named him (well, he was named from the start, unlike some of the critters I make) Oliver Donald Piano.

Or O. Don Piano for short.

O. Don Piano

The pattern if from the "Kyuuto: Amigurumi" book. I used a boucle yarn (I think it was from Bernat; I picked it up at the Michael's in my parents' town). The eyes are "Suncatcher" eyes; I picked them specifically because they matched the inspiration for the cat, and the nose is a vintage button.

I did make the back legs and tail longer than the pattern suggested; they were awfully stumpy otherwise.

I named him what I did because of this:



(That makes me laugh EVERY TIME I see it. I know the cat isn't happy - apparently it is growling at another one of the cats in its household - but it still strikes me funny every time.)

I can't remember if the video in question ever actually appeared on Cute Overload (because a growling cat, while funny, is not exactly cute), but I'm still digging out the 'cute overload in amigurumi form' tag for this.

Why I eyes Ya 2


Why I eyes ya!
Could it be possible that my perceived failure to attract the opposite sex isn't always entirely my fault?.

At any rate: something else I can blame society for in my more society-hating moments.

(Talking to someone doesn't become creepy until she has rebuffed you and you keep going. Or if you try to touch her uninvited.)
I realize now I wasn't totally clear on last night's post.

Pantyhose In A Can is spray-on pantyhose. Not conventional pantyhose that come in a can. Some kind of spray dye that I suppose makes your legs look like you are wearing stockings.

And yeah, I'm sad L'eggs stopped using the plastic eggs. They were great craft supplies (I still have a tree ornament made by decoupaging over one) and when I was a kid, I used to put my toy birds in the cast-off ones my mom would give me.

and they were also good for making "coneheads" on the cat. (Poor old long-suffering Sam. He put up with a lot from my brother and me)
The weather-caster noted this morning that ragweed pollen and mold were "uncommonly high."

Ah, so that explains it.

Unlike "normal" allergy sufferers - who sneeze and get runny noses and cough and in general have physical symptoms, I get tired. And dysphoric. And lose some of my generally bouncy and resilient demeanor - going from Tigger to Eeyore in the course of a few hours.

The thing is, unlike a lot of minor health-related things, knowing what it is doesn't help make it better.

I may need to invest in a new air filter. I used one for years (it was my night-time white noise source as well) but then the company that made it stopped making the filters, so I got rid of it.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I had to run out to the pharmacy after my piano lesson. I succeeded in getting a raspberry seed from my afternoon snack (so I'm not shaky and cranky for piano lesson) stuck between the gold crown and the tooth next to it.

My teeth were tight to begin with; the dentist had to work pretty hard to get the crown in place. So floss only made it worse.

(I finally wound up going with a "brush pick." Apparently the brushes - which are like tiny bottle brushes - are for people with bridgework or braces or naturally gappy teeth (like Madonna, like Letterman). I can't get the brush between my teeth but the plastic pick did dislodge the seed to the point where I could floss it out)

But that's not the main focus of this.

No, I saw something that just struck me odd and funny. (This local pharmacy - it's part of a major chain - seems to have lots of odd, funny stuff. I mean, unintentionally funny. When they first opened, I was in there one day, and on one of the aisles, they had, I kid you not, "Bag O' Panties." Yes. A bag, o' panties. A horrible name for the product, I think, even if I do buy what is perhaps one step up on the ladder of respectability in undergarments (bag o' "Hanes for Her" or "Fruit of the Loom" - whichever they have my size in when I'm in need; apparently I am the modal size of women in this area as I can sometimes not find that particular garment in the size I prefer).

This was: Pantyhose in a Can.

Pantyhose in a Can! Seriously. They advertised it as "Like bare legs - but better." (Better how? I suspect the dye runs in the rain). It makes me laugh because it's such a random thing - especially to find at a pharmacy.

Oh, I know, I'm sure people use it and it might be a good product. And I do remember reading that in World War II, that when silk stockings became scarce, a lot of women used a form of pancake makeup on their legs to simulate stockings. (And they used something like an eyebrow pencil to draw the seams up the back. I think you'd have to have a friend to do that; at least I lack the flexibility to draw a straight line up the back of my legs. Or at least, I THINK I do... Though I will say it would get rid of the issue of "how do you keep the seams straight" if they were drawn on...)
***

I did do 40 minutes of research-reading after dinner tonight but at 7 pm, "watch NCIS" won out over "read more." And then, "Check e-mail" won out over doing the additional 20 minutes. (Oh well. Maybe I can do an hour and 20 minutes tomorrow. Or maybe I just shouldn't be so tough on myself).

I did complete the second arm and the first leg on the amigurumi cat.
Fish or cut bait.

I need to either do my hour of research-reading now, or bail on it and assume I'll do it this evening. It's getting later and later and I just can't motivate myself to read about adaptive monitoring of field sites or ecosystem functioning research.

(It makes me think of the "story" SpongeBob's grandma gave him, when he was trying to be grown up: "It's on Routine Adaptive Maintenance." "Uhhhh, yeah....no pictures. Just like I like it.")

I have to say I am once again envious of all the people who are getting to run off to fiber festivals and such things. (Yes, I know, in 3 weeks or so I get a couple of days off for mid-fall break, but still). Part of the envy is being able to be around people who do fibery stuff, who care about it. To not feel like so much of a Lone Wolf Scout. (I think I talked about that before? Apparently back in the Depression (and earlier), in really isolated areas where there was no Scout troop, people could be "Lone Wolf" scouts, apparently doing all the badge-work and stuff by mail). Part of it is just the thought of getting AWAY for a few days, of not having to think about work-things or life-things or stuff like that.

I'm trying to put down the figuratively-too-heavy-stuff-I'm-carrying, seeing as none of it really has a direct impact on me and my life, but it's kind of hard. I'm going through one of those phases again where lots of people around me just seem to be having a hard time with different things, and it makes me kind of sad. Some of the stuff is little stuff, some of it is really big scary stuff (no, I can't really talk about it here. None of it actually involves me, and I feel like I'd be breaking confidences to discuss it).

At the same time, I have a number of people who are running around acting like it's (figuratively) the end of the world because they broke a fingernail, and they wonder why I don't immediately leap forth, full of sympathy and pity for them.

So, I admit it: I broke down, broke my "no yarn buying until (maybe) mid-fall break" plan, and ordered a skein of the new Regia sock yarn (it's sort of an ombre color, like the Mega Boots yarn is) along with the Norah Gaughan book I'd been lusting after from Jimmy Bean's Wool. And they sent me an e-mail telling me they'd shipped it out today. (I like it when places do that.)

This is one of those times where I have to actively resist (a) spending lots of money on 'comfort' purchases and (b) starting a boatload of new projects just because I feel sad and new projects are one way I self-medicate.
I pulled out a "stalled" project last night.

Given the number of projects I have going at any point in time, and the amount of time I have to work on stuff, there are always at least one or two things in different stages of being stalled. Sometimes this gets to bothering me. Mostly it does not. Sometimes I will get bugged by them and will take time - usually vacation time - to run through several of the long-stalled projects and finish them.

But most of the stuff, it gets finished eventually.

I hadn't done any crocheting in a while; the last time I did it made my elbows and wrists hurt. I think that may have been partly the humidity - if I have any kind of an ache humid weather will make it worse.

The humidity finally dropped yesterday - I guess we're getting into our fall weather pattern - so I tried it again.

I had been working on an amigurumi cat. It's a black and white cat, I last worked on it back in June. Partly because, as I said, crochet was hurting my hands, but also because crocheting with a boucle yarn is not fun - it is hard to see the stitches. But I just got sick of seeing it unfinished (the head and cheeks done, the body half-done) sitting on my ottoman, so I picked it up and worked on it last night. (No photos; it's still not done). I finished the body and attached the head, and also got the ears and one arm done.

I also (in the intervening months) got one of those Clover "ergonomic" crochet hooks that have a fatter handle, so it's easier to hold them and it puts less strain on the muscles of the hand. That also made crocheting easier.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The odd little things I notice:

I am "Middle C" this year.

I was home over lunch, and took some time to practice (because I do it better when I'm not completely tired at day's end). I remembered that each key on the keyboard had a number stamped on it (from exploration of the piano YEARS ago - actually when it was still in my grandparents' house - back when it was still acceptable for me to poke and prod and pull things off stuff). So out of curiosity, I angled the lid up so I could peek at the back of the keys. Yup, the numbers were still there. And #40 is Middle C.

So I am Middle C this year. And next year I will be a sharp key (or, D-flat, I suppose, if you want to think of it that way).

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Rosy-Fingered Dawn shawl progresses slowly:

Sept. 27 Rosy-fingered dawn

I finished the "dewdrops" section, did the "spacer ridges," and am now halfway through the third pattern, "The chariot wheels of dawn's chariot." You can kind of see the shawl starting to become square. (There are four corners where you do yarn overs flanked by either double-decreases or a k 3 depending on the row...this kind of forces the shawl to square up.)

I can see the wheels beginning to form now which means I can "read" the lace as I go along instead of having to stare so intently at the pattern and count and re-count to be sure I'm not messing it up.

That said, successfully knitting lace makes me feel smart and accomplished like nothing else does. (Perhaps they should offer it in the schools, as a self-esteem building exercise).

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Some random Saturday stuff:

I think Charlotte jinxed me. She was talking about mice on her blog yesterday?

Guess what I spied on my kitchen counter at 6:40 this morning when I padded in to make a cup of tea and contemplate fixing toast?

Yup. A mouse. It apparently got ON my counter by coming through the silverware drawer I had left open. (My kitchen cabinets are old and gappy and if I could bear spending the money and also having my life disrupted for six months or so, I'd get them replaced).

So, not only did I make a trip out for poison (Yeah, I know, it's not very humane and it may put other critters that might not object to eating an already-dead mouse at risk, but the little boogers defeat EVERY snap trap I've tried, and I'm not willing to live-trap-and-ferry-them-out-to-the-field-site for release), but I also had to wash everything in that drawer in bleach water (mice are notoriously incontinent) and wash out the drawer itself.

And I will probably need to dig around in the pots-and-pans cabinet, which it apparently came through, and consider washing all of THOSE with bleach water too, but I just don't have the energy right now. I may just pre-wash each pan as I need it, or, when I have an empty dishwasher, just load it up with all of them and run an extra-hot wash.

(Yeah, I'm kind of compulsive about it but mice, ick. I remember an exterminator on Dirty Jobs talking about how mice and rats have no bladder control and tend to leave a little line of leakage in their wake.)

Poison has been deployed. As I said, I hate using it but I am so done with setting snap traps, snapping my own fingers, and then arising the next morning to find the peanut butter licked out of them.

I'm guessing it was a first, initial foray- I could not find anything that had been gnawed on (thank goodness). Then again, my counter doesn't have any mouse-accessible food: it is where I keep the glass bottles of olive oil, vinegar, molasses, and such.

(And I doubt that Charlotte jinxed me for reals. It's probably just fall. There's an old Japanese (? I think) proverb that goes something like, "When mice come indoors, it is time to examine your winter wardrobe.")

****

It's not been a good couple of days. One of my useless neighbors let their useless dog do its business in the middle of my lawn and I stepped in it yesterday afternoon. And didn't realize until I had walked through my house. (So lots of things in my house are getting cleaned this weekend, though I didn't originally plan on it).

I do not know what they feed the beast but I would suggest they ease up on the fiber.

****

It's just little stuff like that. What I describe as "being pecked to death by ducks." Or, if it's work-related, "the death of 1000 papercuts."

My sinus issues are back. But then, that might be because I took part in the city-wide trash-off this morning and spent from 9 to noon sucking down ragweed pollen as I worked. (And breathing in the horrific fumes from old beer bottles, and especially old beer bottles that had been used as "spit cups" - tobacco that is undergoing anaerobic decomposition, its fumes could probably be used as a WMD.)

I had a few scary moments towards the end - I found I was getting a bit dizzy when I'd straighten up from bending over. (I've been checked in the past for heart issues and such when this happened, it was always one of three things causing it:

a. my blood pressure was dropping too low (I have had borderline low bp in the past)
b. I was anemic
c. it was just sinus junk going on.

As I felt better after getting home and showering, I assume it's probably c, possibly a or b. (I should probably go get a blood test.) It could also have been that it was incredibly humid and I had a hard time getting my breath walking back up the steep hill to where my car was. I did the normal workout yesterday with no problems and actually felt pretty good doing it, so I doubt anything critical is going on with me.

Or maybe it was just the beer fumes. Yes, I am that much of a (figurative) lightweight.)

****
Not that I really believe in karma or anything like that, but hopefully my going out and picking up trash helped restore whatever was out of balance that was allowing things like dog dirt in my front yard and mice in my kitchen. Normally I do not have such problems.

****

But now - or rather, before I sat down here - I'm relaxing, watching some programs about ancient Greece on one of the history channels (I get three, usually History International is the best, but even they are prone to Programs of Woo like things about Nostradamus or the Mayan end-of-the-world predictions).

And I'm knitting on the Rosy-Fingered Dawn shawl. This was pure serendipity, I had picked up the shawl before flipping around and settling on ancient Greece.

I've moved from all the floppy dpns to a single circular needle (it's finally big enough to be accommodated on a 29" circular, the smallest size 6 I own). I'm ready to start chart B. I did have to sit down and do some accounting - in one place the symbology is unclear; one place she uses "3X" to represent doing paired decreases surrounding a double-yarn-over three times; elsewhere she says just "3" and I couldn't tell for sure if that meant "3X or just "knit 3."

It means just "knit 3." I pulled out a calculator and added up the stitches both ways, and divided by the number of stitches I was supposed to have at the end of the row, and only the "knit 3" version gives an even (and correct) number of repeats.

You have to be smart and attentive when you knit. And sometimes you have to figure out a way to answer a question when you don't have the answer in the pattern. (I could also have e-mailed Blackberry Ridge; I did that once before on the Hiawatha shawl. But I probably would have had to wait until Monday for an answer (longer, if they were off at a fiber festival) and I wanted to move on to the next section now.

Besides, there's a certain satisfaction in Figuring It Out For Myself. (I was one of those kids who would push their parents away, when they tried to hurry things along by tying my laces or such for me, instead, I would protest, "I Can Do It Myself!" I'm sure it was annoying at times but whatever. It trained me well for solo adulthood where figuring how to take care of things without having recourse to another person is a necessity).

****

Oh, and Charles: are you sure it was the song, and not the bouncy-bouncy dance of the flower girl in it that made the video so rewatchable? :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

There's a video game out there called Plants vs. Zombies. It looks very fun and cute but I have not bought it because my home computer told me one day, "Captain! I do'na think she can take ennymore!" when I tried to have my browser AND Microsoft Word AND MS Excel open all at the same time.

The game does look cute though. And it has a real earworm (in a good way) of a theme song:



"I used to play football!" "Traffic cone protects my head!" "I have a screen-door shield!" Silly and random and I love it.


Darn it, I'm gonna be singing, "There's a zombie on your lawn" in my head all day.

(The chorus is just slightly similar to the sing-songy "Yvan eht nioj" of an old Simpsons' episode)
Been a while since I did one of these, but I actually like the result:


Find out Which Movie Hero Are You at LiquidGeneration.com!


(NB: continuous loop of Star Wars music on that site.)
The sinus/migraine/I don't know what headache I've had for a couple of days finally went away, along with the cramp or spasm in one of my neck muscles that was part of it.

(I know. I Should Really Get That Looked At. But I have a lot of discomfort about going to doctors I don't know...there's the effort of setting up the appointment, the question of Are They Going To Weigh Me And Then Harass Me About My Weight (there is a doctor I stopped going to because of this issue), the possibility of something being very wrong - wrong in a way that I'd probably rather not know about until I dropped dead of it (I am sort of a reverse hypochondriac. I don't want to go to the doctor because I am afraid they will find something terribly wrong that will be painful and arduous to treat). And I suspect the diagnosis of the neck thing will be "old injury" and the treatment will be pain pills or muscle relaxants, neither of which I want to take - I'd rather cope with an occasional low-grade but tolerable pain than not be able to function.)

I do think the neck thing is an old injury that flares up periodically when I'm stressed, when I have to carry something that's too heavy for me (literally or figuratively).

When I was a tiny child, I took swimming lessons in the summer. Summers in northeastern Ohio are often not all that warm (and this was the 1970s, a historically cool decade). I think I was six when it happened. The last day of swim class, they let us have fun - splash in the pool, jump off the edge into deeper water, use the slide. It was a cool day that day. I remember I was on the slide, getting ready to go down into the water. Someone called out my name and I turned my head to see. And immediately the muscles in my neck (wet little kid, chilly day, sudden movement) seized up. I don't remember if I slid down the slide or if the pain required someone to get me off of it. I just remember spending the rest of the day lying on the sofa at home with a heat pack on my neck and being allowed to watch more television than I normally was.

(Oddly, I remember that one of the things I watched was "Barnaby" - a kind of kids' show that used to be incredibly common but has almost entirely vanished; one of those locally done things with a goofy host who did old Soupy Sales jokes in between showing Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry cartoons. You know, given the nostalgia-mining of the networks, one of the channels that shows cartoons should come up with a faked-up version of one of those shows - I could see them doing it on Adult Swim - but have it be, you know, just slightly OFF. I think Gen-Xers would find that amusing. Well, if it weren't annoying. I could imagine it easily getting annoying)

So periodically the neck flares up. It's mainly an annoyance. I assume what happened is, all those years ago, I tore the muscle. And muscle doesn't heal, without surgery. (Or maybe there's scar tissue in there.) At any rate, the thought of what I'd have to go through to have it repaired (surgery or that scar-tissue-breaking-up thing) sounds more painful than the periodic muscle cramps.

Hopefully it will stay un-flared-up for a while now. I've had two recent flare ups but both are traceable - one, I had spent a LONG day doing paper revisions and doing a lot of both typing and mousing. And this one - I think it's that I'm (figuratively) carrying a few things too heavy for me at the moment.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I was mostly-felled last night by a bad sinus headache. (It happens every fall. It seems that my sinuses, like temperate-region lakes, need to experience a seasonal turnover every fall and spring.

(And it shows hints of redeveloping this morning. Even though I decided not to do my usual workout lest it bring on the headache)

I was still feeling well enough to read, though. I'm working my way through Matthew Crawford's "Shop Class as Soulcraft," a book which apparently grew from this essay.

It's an interesting book. I do think in some cases the author maybe overstates his point a bit - the anti-consumerist ideas, for example.

(And it also brings home an idea I've contemplated for a while: that the traditional labels of "conservative" and "liberal," in re politics or general worldview, are probably no longer useful and should be replaced...or perhaps that labeling is itself useless. Crawford is (I am guessing from some of the things he said) conservative-leaning politically, but some of his comments on "modern consumer society" sound like things a more left-leaning professorial type would say. I suspect he's actually what's sometimes known as a "Crunchy Con," or a "granola conservative," which in and of themselves are not useful or helpful labels. But whatever. Still, I think the idea of labeling someone based on their political ideology seems kind of useless; I have spoken, for example, with 'social conservatives' who want as many restrictions on behavior as some of the most statist liberals I've spoken with (though which behaviors should be restricted, and how, differ between the two groups.)

Anyway. Politics makes people hateful, in my experience, which is why I generally listen far more than I talk when political ideas are being tossed about.)

Anyway. Part of his hypothesis is that the consumer-driven society is alienating people from actually "doing" stuff - that, because it's so much easier to pop a CD into the player than it is, say, to pick up a guitar and learn how to play it, people content themselves with doing the "simple" thing, and the advertisers make it seem as if they are actually "doing" something. (I am not saying this very well).

He gives the example of the Toyota "Scion" line, with the various trick-out options that people can purchase, and presents it as an example of the modern, "debased," individuality - in contrast with the old-time shade-tree mechanics who knew what they were doing, who cared about making the engines work right and stuff.

And while I'm not sure I want to return to a world where I'm designing and making my own clothes, and changing my own oil (which I can do in theory but prefer to pay the nice men at my mechanic's shop to do for me), I kind of sort of see the basis of his point.

It makes more sense when he talks about work. He gives the example from Pirsig's "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" where Pirsig brings his bike into a shop because it is making a strange noise (it turns out that an oil pin has sheared off and is lodged in an intake). The "mechanics" - who are mostly cavorting around being non-serious - barely look at it before one declares that it must be the tappets. And then he proceeds to butcher the bike, ruining several parts on it in his drive to get to the tappets. Crawford concludes that these are employees who do not care about their job, have not been taught to care.

He argues that a lot of the sort of traditional "diagnostic" work - he uses engine repair (which he has done himself) and medicine as examples; I can think of a couple others I'll mention in a minute - are a very high level sort of thought process; you can't reduce diagnosing a patient to a checklist, you can't do a phone consult to find out what's wrong with an engine.

(This is part of his larger argument that the manual trades should be more promoted - for one thing, you can't outsource plumbing to India).

But he argues that the kind of careful attention being a good diagnostician at whatever it is you do it not taught, not promoted in the schools - instead, there's a lot of sort of fuzzy, "We're training them to be knowledge workers!" attitude, and, he claims, a disdain for the traditional trades.

And you know, I think I can kind of buy that. (And I wonder how much of the push to get students "achieving" on standardized tests is displacing the old traditional habits of attentiveness to things, of focusing deeply on single concepts or subjects, and is replaced by a sort of surficial knowledge)

I see some of the attitudes he talks about in some of my students - the idea of "OK, I've seen that plant, now it's time to move on." I have horrible frustrations in labs where students need to examine things on slides, or where they have to learn to identify plants, or when I ask them to make sketches of soil invertebrates. Because they want to rush through. Twenty seconds is not long enough to understand what's going on with a cross-section of a corn root.

The point of drawing "stuff" to learn about it is not to make artistic drawings. It is to pay attention to it for long enough to come to see the detail. I always have students protest that they 'can't draw' or that they "don't know how to draw" and such. I tell them the point is not to make art; the point is for them to observe. By and large, a lot of them rush through the drawings (sometimes even doing them in ballpoint), the drawings lack nuance, in a few cases I've caught people trying to copy the line drawings from the identification book rather than drawing the actual critter in front of them.

However, I have to say, I have sympathy for them. I remember a grass and graminoid identification class I took in grad school where the prof would bring in the flowering heads of grasses, hand us each three or four, point us to a dissecting microscope and tell us to spend a minimum of fifteen minutes drawing each grass. At first I protested, with the same protests my students now use. But my professor, sighing a bit, said, "Just look at them. Spend more time looking at them than you do drawing them at first. Try to pick out the detail. Think about what you would want to know in order to identify this thing in the field."

And then one day, it was sort of like something clicked: I could draw the grasses! It made sense to me! And my drawings were actually pretty good, in the sense of actually looking like the model.

(In his book, Crawford describes being asked - as part of his mechanic's training, as a way to learn to "look at things" - to draw a skeleton, and the poor job he did at first, because he let the "cartoon" concept he had in his mind get in the way of seeing the actual model skeleton set up before him).

And learning to identify plants is learning a sort of diagnostic process. It takes patience. It takes a certain humility, too - being willing to be wrong, being willing to admit you don't know something. A very common mistake people make (and I know I made) when first learning to identify plants is that when you know a small handful of things, you want to shoehorn stuff you see into those different categories - I remember, for example, before I knew what Iva annua was, I was trying to call it ragweed, even though somewhere in the back of my head I KNEW the leaves were wrong (the flowering parts do look somewhat similar). I think most people beginning to identify plants make this mistake - there is an arrogant part of the brain that wants to declare "I KNOW this" and move on, instead of going, "Wait a minute...this doesn't fit with what I know."

Actually, as I got better at identifying plants, I realized that a lot of the time there is stuff I didn't know. And that it's OK to say, Well, this is "Unknown #3" and I'm going to take a sample of it and take it back to the lab and key it out, or find someone more knowledgeable than me to tell me.

And now, I'm fairly good at identifying plants. And there's a certain joy in that, just like the joy Crawford describes in finally figuring out the problem with an engine and knowing how to fix it. It's a joy even beyond knowing you're doing the job you're paid to do, even beyond being able to impress students. There's a joy in knowing how to do it, in applying that hard-won knowledge. In doing something right.

Students often ask me, when I identify a plant, "How do you KNOW?" I can't really answer that and I know I have annoyed people in the past when I simply respond, "Gestalt". But it is kind of a gestalt thing: you have to look at the whole of the plant, consider the characteristics, the leaf shape, the leaf color, match them all against the patterns in your head, and come to a conclusion. If they press me for more explanation I tell them that it's simply years of experience, years of working with the stuff, of having profs and bosses who knew the stuff and taught me the tricks of how to identify it, tricks and knowledge that I will pass on if they are just patient enough to want to receive it. (Many are not).

I think a similar process happens with people who work with computers. I've had limited experience observing it directly, but I've known a few "computer guys" in my life, and there's a certain fervor when something's wrong with a computer, a certain drive to get it fixed over and above the fact that someone will pay you when it's fixed, it's a desire to make it right, to succeed at the task. And in most cases they're "soloing" - they're not, say, opening the case, then passing it on to a guy who tests the motherboard, who passes it to some other guy who looks at the hard drive. It's one guy, one computer, and a lot of knowledge and experience.

And Crawford argues that a lot of modern education - preparing the "knowledge workers" of the future - ignores this fundamental human desire, to interact with the world and to, as he said, have "agency" in it - to have both control of and submission to the process. (You have to be willing to "listen" to the machine - or the plant - as well as draw on your own knowledge).

He also says that a lot of the dissatisfaction a lot of workers feel is because they do not have this "agency" - that their jobs are largely reduced to a script, that they feel like what they are doing doesn't have an impact, that they never see the finished product.

And I think, while again he may overstate his points, there is some truth to that. My brother used to work for a large insurance concern. He was using his math background - working out models of fire risk for areas in the Southwest (actually, it may well have included the area where I live). But he found the work unrewarding because he never wrote a WHOLE model. He did part of the number-crunching, then it got passed on to someone else. And he described it as feeling like a cog in a machine. (There were other factors - the "Office Space"-like corporate culture - that got to him as well. I think being raised by academics is perhaps a bit like being raised by wolves: you don't ever entirely fit into "normal" society). Ultimately he quit (thanks to his marrying a wife who had a decent job), went back to school, earned a divinity degree, and is now a campus representative for Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. He has a lot more autonomy, he has to use his intelligence guided by experience a lot more, and he's a lot happier.

So Crawford makes the argument that "one size fits all" education - the idea that "everyone" should go to college - is not a good idea. That trade schools should be promoted more - there are a lot of people with excellent aptitude to be mechanics, who would be bored silly (or worse) filing TPS reports. And we need mechanics. And plumbers. And electricians. But somehow, some misplaced idea of "egalitarianism" and wanting to "elevate" people above manual work has made it seem distasteful to suggest trade school to a kid - the kid has to have the drive and maturity to request it for himself, rather than be tracked along to college.

And I'm not saying someone who wants to be a plumber shouldn't GO to college if they want to. I bet business classes and maybe accounting (if they plan to keep their own books) would be tremendously helpful. Let alone the folks who just have an interest in something and want to do course work in it. (The problem being: most college is so expensive now, that unless you're an independently wealthy layabout, going to study, say, Chaucer, when your aim is not to earn your bread by being a Chaucer scholar, is seen as somehow suspect and wasteful).

I don't have any grand ideas for "fixing" education or "fixing" society. I do think more of an honoring of the "skilled trade" sort of work - and reminding kids that that's a very real option as a way to make a good living (and in fact, a good living that is more dependent, I suspect, on their own drive and their own hard work, than any cubicle or civil-service job is) - is a good place to start.

It's an interesting book. (I've not even touched on some of the stuff he's said about learning to play an instrument, which rings true for me). I'm not even 175 pages in to it and already I have all those things to say about it.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I wonder how many people remember this name?

Art Ferrante, dead at 88.

I saw the obit and immediately blipped back to my early days on this Earth - probably 1973 or so - when my parents had season tickets to Blossom, the summer home of the Cleveland Orchestra. They also got tickets to see other performances - I probably saw, but don't really remember, the Carpenters perform.

They had "lawn" tickets for most things - would bring a big blanket and we'd sit out in the gathering dark of a summer evening. Sometimes friends of our family would come along and we'd all sit in a big group, the kids running around the blankets and playing tag until it was time for the concert to start.

I think for the Ferrante and Teicher concert, they must have had tickets in the "shell" - I remember being indoors for it (maybe rain was threatening?). The biggest thing I remember of the concert is the two big grand or baby grand pianos on stage, set so the concave section of one fit against the convex section of the other.

I don't remember exactly what they played - it was probably "pops" or movie themes, those seem to have been the biggest part of the repertoire - but I can close my eyes and picture those two pianos.

Those evenings at Blossom are some of my earliest memories. And I think like many early memories they're probably a bit more gold-tinged than they otherwise might be, but I remember really enjoying going out there to hear music and watch the summer night fall.
I finished the current pair of "simple" socks last night:

paprika socks

"Serenity" sock yarn (which is a wool-bamboo blend), knit with 64 sts on size 1 needles. The socks don't match perfectly on the feet because one ball had a "blip" in it - a knot which led to one of the pink stripes being narrower than it should.

I also knit a bit more on Thermal last night, though it will take a while (I am loathe to even tally up how many stitches are in it - there are 296 on the needle, so for every 10 rows I am dong just shy of 3000 stitches) Still, I think it will be a great sweater for here - the thinner weight will make it more wearable, and also, I suspect finer gauge sweaters look better on me.

Welcome fall, welcome cooler weather. Last night was the first night in many months where I didn't have to run my ceiling fan in order to be cool enough to sleep comfortably. (I think my preferred bedroom temperature is about 62* and while it wasn't that cold, it was a lot closer to it than what it's been in a while).

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I did something last night I had been thinking about and tempted to do for a while.

I started (yet another) project. I wanted a "simple" sweater (the Honeycomb, while not difficult, requires a lot of attention and I wanted something "just knit round" that I could knit while reading)

I had been thinking about two sweaters in particular: the Burma Rings pullover (worsted weight, knit of 1824 Wool - I can't find an easily-accessed photo online) and Thermal.

I decided on Thermal, even though it's 296 stitches on size 3 needles. (I'm doing the 42" size; this is supposed to be a body-hugging sweater). I'm using the recommended yarn, except in a deep-purple color (they call it "Concord Grape," it has since been discontinued).

This is why I have a stash. I realize that for some people, stashes are neither necessary nor desirable; I know knitters who work on only one or two projects at a time, and when they are ready to begin their next project, then they go to their Local Yarn Shop and pick something out, or they order it through the mail and wait patiently for it to arrive.

I am not those knitters. I like having a stash for myself, for those times when I get seized by the urge to start something, or when I find a pattern I just have to try out - most of the yarn in my stash is project-designated, but that doesn't mean that I can't bump a project and replace the yarn for it later.

I also have to admit, in a strange way, the stash gives me a sense of security. A feeling of, "If H1N1 flu got so bad that they told us all to hole up for three weeks and not leave our houses, at least I wouldn't be bored." or, more realistically: "If gas prices got really high and I felt like I couldn't go out shopping for supplies, I at least have enough stuff to keep entertained for quite a while."

(I also keep a couple weeks' worth of canned goods on hand. Though food would be less of an issue than craft supplies, in the face of super-expensive/unavailable gas)

And yeah, I do have a stash big enough to scare most non-stashers and probably many of the small-stashers. I don't know; I consider it a relatively benign form of eccentricity. Much of my yarn was bought comparatively inexpensively and opportunistically from Elann as closeouts.

I will say one benefit of the stash? On a few occasions when someone in one of the groups I frequent in Ravelry was having a rough patch and people were secretly planning on "love bombing" that person, I could pull something out of the stash and send it on - which I couldn't easily do otherwise, not having a local yarn shop.

And I have to admit, there's a certain pleasure in going to the stash, pulling something out, and starting a project with it. (Part of it is the freeing-up-space thing, but MAINLY it is a pleasure similar to what I suspect a home canner feels when he or she makes spaghetti sauce in the middle of the winter with tomatoes they grew and canned in July.)

(And no, I didn't swatch. Because if you're knitting in the round, you have to swatch in the round, and that's a pain. And because I'm using the recommended yarn and needle size and my gauge tends to be on-gauge for most patterns. I may pay for it later but I'm going to just knit up the ribbing and a few rounds of the body and do a quick check to make sure I'm not too far off gauge.)

***

I had not planned to photograph myself in the new dress but maybe I will now. Maybe I'll see if one of my "knitted before I owned a digicam" shawls goes with it and use that as an excuse to show off the dress.

I do have to wash it first. I'm now paranoid about washing new clothes before wearing them, after seeing a long-ago episode of "House, MD" where a couple kids got pesticide poisoning from new jeans they bought from some shady guy.

***

And another thing: Ray Bradbury once commented that local news made you stupid. I'm wondering if maybe my local news is making me smarter, in that some of the stuff they say on there makes me question things and go chasing after information.

There was a story this morning (it was the obligatory "OH NOES IF YOU EVER SAID ANYTHING ON THE INTERNETS NOW YOU WILL NEVER GET A JOB BECAUSE EMPLOYERS THINK THE INTERNETS IS EVIL!" type story, or at least that was how it was sold. I presume it was really a "posting drunken photos of yourself on a Myspace page is probably inadvisable if you are planning on a executive career" story)

Anyway, the news-reader said something along the lines of "With unemployment worse than it ever was...."

Wait...what?

Really? Worse than 1931? Much worse than the early 80s?. For that matter, Worse than the 1890s?

(And I'm only looking at US data. I seem to remember that not too terribly long ago, Spain had 22% unemployment)

(and yes, before anyone says anything, I know that the way things were reported were changed after 1981 or so, and I also know there are a lot of folks who have given up looking and have fallen off the rolls. But still. It bugs me to be told these are the worst times ever when less than 80 years ago there were times that were clearly worse.)

I think I've said before that ahistoricality bugs me. Partly because it leads to the assumption that everything that is currently New! and popular is, well, the best thing EVER! and that when things are not going so well, it's the WORST times EVER! There's also an element of the fear of "those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it."

Monday, September 21, 2009

I did wind up going shopping Saturday. (and also finally mowing and edging the yard - that was a big job with all the rain we'd had).

And once again: yay Lane Bryant! Yay for not making me cry, for having clothes that not only fit me but don't make me look like a freak.

I had gone out looking for a dress. Tried "Dress Barn" first. You can tell it's a year when dresses are apparently out of favor by TPTB when a store called Dress Barn has only a few dresses, and most of them semi-formals at that.

But right in the door of Lane Bryant, there were three dresses lined up - two being the sort of formless knit dresses that I know women of fluctuating size like. But my size remains pretty constant, so I prefer something more fitted.

And they had one! It was a purplish blue - sort of a deep periwinkle - and the design strikes me as being a bit 1940s-inspired, with some bustline detail. (It's on their website, here. But in real life it looks more purple and less blue to me). I took the smallest size (and I admit, that's a bit of vanity there for me: it's nice to walk into a store and take the smallest size off the rack, rather than the biggest) and tried it on.

It fit perfectly. (Actually, it seems more fitted on me than the one on that model does; it seems to accentuate my waist and doesn't make my bust look huge but still makes me look feminine). So it doesn't match with the new sweater I knit - I don't really care. It looked good on me. (And yeah, it was kind of expensive, at least for me for dresses, but I bought it).

Because I looked good in it. Oh, no, I didn't look Hot - I don't think Hotness is a part of my make-up, and I also think it's actually not a look I wish to aspire to - but I looked professional and pretty and well-pulled-together. (And the dress should go well with some of my jewelry, and probably some of my shawls).

I also bought a pair of jeans.

One thing Lane Bryant does, is they have three different "cuts" - either straight up-and-down, "moderately curvy" (which I chose) or "very curvy." The design of the jeans is such that the rise in the back is higher - and it seems to eliminate the "swayback" problem I have, where jeans that fit in the hips gap at the waist.

I will say their re-sizing of the jeans annoys me a bit. They size slacks from 1 through 8 or so. A 1-2 (which I took) corresponds roughly to a 16 in "real" sizes. I don't like it when manufacturers try to be "cute" with sizing. I KNOW I'm a big woman. Being told I'm a "2" isn't going to make me ignore that fact (though on the other end, I wouldn't appreciate it if some designer decided to resize using, say, animals, and have, say, pigs and hippos and whales to designate the larger sizes. That would be worse.). (I still think it would help if they sized women's slacks with waist-hip-inseam sizing, kind of like how they size men's jeans, only with the added hip measurement). But whatever. The jeans fit better and looked better on than most I've owned, so I'm willing to put up with the clearly-vanity sizing.

The other thing is, I have found on average, the people working in Lane Bryant are more helpful and cheerful than people in most other clothing stores. I don't know if that's a corporate thing, or if the bigger department stores just have more harried help, or what.

I will probably go back at some point when it's time to replace certain, um, nether garments. For years I bought a particular brand but I'm willing to try another.

(They also sell Spanx. I've never tried them but I do have a dress that is sort of clingy and might look better if I was willing to subject myself to a pair of those. I don't know. I keep looking at them in catalogs and keep thinking about how miserable I am wearing even control-top pantyhose. So I don't know.)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I got the binding on the "County Line" quilt out of the Paris-inspired fabrics last weekend, but it was too rainy all last week to get a photo of it outdoors:

Paris County line

The colors are a little different from what I normally use, but I like how the quilt turned out.

Here's a close-up of one corner that shows the quilting better, and also shows the binding. I was glad I had enough of the sashing material left to make the binding, I don't think anything else would have looked quite as good:

Paris county line corner

I also got a "surprise" afternoon off from Youth Group - there's a bad 24 hour stomach bug going around town (I think I may have had a touch of it last week; I had some stomach cramps, tiredness, and loss-of-appetite that, at the time, I blamed on being female, but what might actually have been a very mild form of the bug. I generally do not get intestinal things as badly as other people do; I assume it's because of the large amounts of yogurt I eat). Most of the kids in my group are down with it, so we decided not to meet tonight.

(It's OK - the lesson I prepared will keep until next week. It's on Yom Kippur - I'm doing a little background on Biblical/Jewish history for the kids - and I see that Yom Kippur is actually not until Monday the 28th. [and if there is anyone who's reading this who is Jewish and has something in particular you want me to teach the kids about it, please let me know. I went to a couple of Judaica websites for background and stuff I didn't know about it already, but I realize that there are different things emphasized in the different Jewish groups...])

So I also took some time and re-decorated my mantel, seeing as Tuesday is the first full day of fall (yay!) So I did a fall theme again:

Fall Mantel - 2009

I had been wanting to get some "fairy lights" (though I guess, technically, fairy lights are the plain white ones) to use for fall. And Target had these nifty orange LED bulbs (so they consume less power, and also should last longer). I'm not sure how I feel about the LED Christmas lights - they seem a bit glare-y to me - but for fall, I rather like these.

And yeah, I do "fall," rather than specifically Hallowe'en, partly because I tend to think of Hallowe'en as "mainly a kids' holiday" (Even though I know many adults go all out in celebrating it - in the latest Martha Stewart magazine* they had full-size, three-dimensional glittered skeletons (including a green one, which looked really disgusting...I kept thinking of lichens growing on bones) for something like $150.)

Besides, with 'fall,' I can leave it up and enjoy it for longer.

(*I got that magazine when the Mary Engelbreit one folded. I am not resubscribing; it seems the magazine is aimed at people with a lifestyle perhaps $25K richer per year than I am, or, people who are more willing to shell out lots of bucks to impress their friends.)

Fall mantel 2 - 2009

Most of the stuff is last year's, pulled out again; the LED lights are new, as are the glittery things in the vase on the right. I really do like those lights. I may leave them on when I have to go out in the evenings so I have something friendly to come home to.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I have done all the necessary grading for next week. I finished the Sunday school lesson a few minutes ago.

I also succeeded in getting the flu shot this afternoon. (and running other errands. It took an hour to just to get the flu jab, go to the bank, go to the post office, and get gas in my car)

So I am declaring it a Weekend of Slackdom. Depending on how I feel tomorrow morning (and if it's pouring or not), I may go and do that clothes-shopping I was talking about. I've decided to go with nothing really in mind: it seems when I have a set idea of what I want, I don't find it, but when I'm just shopping to shop (which I do rarely, as I'm not a big fan of clothes shopping), I do find cute stuff.

I think I'm going to try Lane Bryant, and I think there's still a Dress Barn in the same mall as them. (It seems logical, if want I want is dresses, to try a Dress Barn rather than some other store). I mmmmmmmmmight go to Kohls, though as I said, they have made me cry in the past. And the Kohls in Sherman has a weird drive in to it - it's on a steep hill, and it's hard to see getting in and out of the parking lot, and so it kind of freaks me out a little to drive around there.

I also have a 40% off coupon for JoAnn's, which I will probably use.

And I am hoping one of the grocery stores will have those big thick crunchy Snyder's pretzels that I like that NO STORE IN MY TOWN carries.

So we'll see. But I think I do need to get out. (Oh, and I need a Clinique item or two. So I should go to the Belk for that.)

And now - try to find something entertaining to watch while I knit.
Who knew...

epic fail pictures
see more Fail Blog

...that God looked like Einstein? ("No playing dice with the universe," indeed)
I've been working more on the Honeycomb vest:

honeycomb, Sept. 17

Because it is a roughly sport-weight yarn, knit on size 3 needles, it grows slowly. It is taking a while. I will have to be patient.

I am not a patient person by nature. This surprises people who know me. I can be patient with other people, mainly out of a desire to neither make people angry with me nor hurt people's feelings (as in, students). I can have pretty infinite patience with people (though I will admit there have been times when I've quietly excused myself from a lab or meeting when my id was chewing through its restraints and I feared I was going to say something I would regret, because someone was being intentionally helpless or was throwing up roadblocks to every suggestion or was dominating a meeting with off-topic minutiae).

But I do mutter and stew when I'm forced to stand in line at the post office (especially if Amazon Man is in line ahead of me - he is a little old man who sells lots of used books as an Amazon associate, and if you're unlucky, you wind up in line behind him and his roughly 80 packages, all of which need to be weighed separately and have postage affixed).

And you really don't want to be traveling with me if there are big delays. Especially the sort of big delays where no kind of ETA can be given; one of the most excruciating things for me about traveling is when the train's stopped on the tracks, waiting on "freight traffic" or "waiting for someone to change the signal" and they can't give any idea of when we will be underway again. I should not be bothered by it, but I am.

And I admit a certain frustration with the whole flu-shot-getting process. (They called today. Of course, like an idiot, I gave my home rather than work phone, so they called around noon and left a message. And when I called back, I wound up in an automated-options netherworld until I finally figured out what buttons to push - they did not have a "to talk to someone about scheduling a flu shot" choice. And then I waited about 5 minutes, listening to bad country-pop, while the person in charge of such a thing was tracked down and put on the phone.)

(Incidentally, for those who asked: I think the flu shot permission thing ONLY deals with someone getting them at a pharmacy or a grocery store or some other sort of "non primary medical" place. I've got them at the local county health department in the past and no one required permission for me to get the shot - and the county health departments are where poor folk who can't afford a regular doctor are most likely to go; when I went there to get the shot (it was for convenience's sake) they said there was no charge but donations were welcome if the person felt like they could afford it. So I dropped a sawbuck in the container, figuring I'd pay that (at least) at a doctor's. But this year it seems the pharmacies are the only places with "early" shots. I don't even know when our local County Health is going to have them. And I've gone to DRIVE THROUGH clinics run by a local home-health care provider and all they asked was that I fill out the form stating that yes, I knew there was a very small risk of my having a bad reaction to the shot and I was willing to accept that risk. And verifying that I was not allergic to eggs or pregnant or immune compromised or anything like that. So I assume the rule only applies to "freestanding" places that don't have a "real" doctor or nurse on hand - though my understanding is that pharmacists go through much of the same training. And I have known more than a few pharmacists or pharm techs who were EMTs or paramedics in their "other" lives.)

But anyway. The whole effort of getting the shot makes me not want to do it this way again (except, if the pharmacy tech was right, the rule will be different next year and I won't have to mess with it)

And I'm not good at being patient with myself. I'm getting better - I don't "yell" at myself any more when I'm having a bad day of practicing piano; I'm more prone to chalk it up to being tired or having my attention divided by something else. But I do still get irritated when I don't get things as fast as I feel I should.

So perhaps the knitting does help build up my little store of patience. By reminding me that small increments get the thing done. Because I can see this slowly growing, even if I only add a row or two in a day.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Here is an interesting blogpost considering the future of libraries.

I admit, I tend to be one of the "old fogies" who likes the paper-and-ink books. I don't own an e-book reader, don't want one. (Even though, yes, I hurt my shoulder every time I travel because of the weight of the four or five books I carry with me).

I agree with the writer's arguments about the cost of digitization. I've seen similar things, serving on the library committee. Stuff in electronic form can be wonderful (and I love the data base access we DO have), but it's enormously expensive. And you have to have the technology for it. And you have to update your technology when it updates. (Another personal hobbyhorse: I am annoyed by the rapid obsolescence of consumer electronics. I don't own an mp3 player, and it took me forever to decide on buying a dvd player, because I had this sinking feeling that, "I'll buy one, and a year later there will be some new format, and they'll stop making "old" dvds. Well, blu-ray is coming...)

I ran up against another bit of the issue this morning: the de-localization of information. One of the textbooks I use, the company that publishes it used to include a CD-ROM of all the "chapter art" - so if you were preparing a lecture and wanted to show a couple of the diagrams, you could just download them into a Powerpoint presentation and there you were.

They don't do that any more. Now, they tell you, "Oh, it's all on our website, you can just download it from there." Except. There's a positively Byzantine process to register for access the first time, and woe unto you if you forget your password to get in. Even logging in takes multiple keystrokes and a lot of surfing about to get to where you need to.

And then this morning, they were performing "critical site maintenance" - so I could not download the figures I wanted to put into my updated lecture. (Luckily, it came back up about 20 minutes before class time so I could quickly pop the figures in).

So, I don't know, but for me, you can keep your e-book readers and your digital forms of everything; I'll keep the books that are slowly taking over my house. (Maybe they even work as insulation, if I totally line the walls with shelves?)

I think sometimes people get too hepped up on "new technology" and forget that old technology is still around because it worked well. (You can't read stuff online in a power outage, unless you have unlimited battery life or are going to hook a stationary bike to your computer a la Ed Begley Jr.)
In ecology, there is a concept called the Red Queen Hypothesis. (It is named, whimsically, for the character from "Through the Looking Glass" who had to "run constantly to stay in place"). In a nutshell, it suggests that birds and mammals must change up their immune systems every generation (hence, use sexual rather than asexual reproduction) lest viruses and other parasites "beat" them in an evolutionary arms race.

So naturally, when I saw this photo, that was the first thing that came to mind:

Red Queen Hypothesis  you
moar funny pictures

(Yes, I captioned that. I am probably one of very few people on this Earth who would think that first - well, after thinking, "How does she see in that" and "what the heck?")
Apropos of the weather we've had all week, the indomitable Sister Rosetta Tharpe:

It delights me that someone who looks and dresses like her plays the electric guitar like that. She seems to me like she was a wonderful, interesting person. I know very little about her beyond having a boxset of CDs of her music.

I didn't get my flu shot yesterday as I was planning.

The only place in town offering them currently is one of the pharmacies. So I went out there, talked to the pharmacy tech (a former student of mine! Yeah, you can't get away from them). And he said, "I'm sorry, but we need permission from a primary-care physician for us to give the shot."

I kind of looked at him in disbelief - I mean, heck, GROCERY STORES in my parents' town are giving flu shots.

"We're the only state in the Union that requires it," he said, ruefully. "It's set to change in early November, but for now, we have to have permission."

Seriously, Oklahoma? Seriously? You think I cannot tell the difference between a proper, well-lit, clean pharmacy and Joe-Jack offering Mystery Shots out of the trunk of his car?

I just sighed. And said, "I don't really have a 'primary care' physician in the sense of an internist or a GP. I have an allergist in Ardmore..." (And because he was one of my former students, I wasn't going to mention that I also have a GYN. Because I tend to be shy about such things.)

So he's going to fax the permission slip to my allergist, who is going to sign it and fax it back to him, then the pharm tech will have to call me to let me know it's OK for me to get the flu jab. And three people - the tech, my doctor, and me (the tech asked me to call the doctor's office to let them know to be expecting the fax) had a few minutes of their time wasted.

I suppose when the law was put into place there was some good rationale for it - I suppose SOMEONE SOMEWHERE was stupid and got shot up with something bad for them, or some person somewhere was using the same syringe over and over again. But once again, the few bad apples makes it difficult for everyone else.

But what gets me? I could have driven the 1/2 hour to Sherman and probably got the jab, no questions asked, no permission needed. (Unless that law extends blanket-wise to all residents of the state. Cripes. I'd hate to be in some foreign country, be sick, be somewhere that's not an "approved" clinic and have to wait for a Stateside doctor to say, "Yeah, you can give her the anti-yellow-fever medicine as a vaccine.")

Not to mention that after working up all my courage to go in and get jabbed in the arm, I'm going to have to do it again today or tomorrow. Ugh. I only have a limited supply of courage re: needles. And I will need extra this fall.

(And I wonder, when the H1N1 shots come out, will we have to go 'round this merry-go-round all over again? And yeah, I am going to get an H1N1 shot after all, provided the kids and pregnant ladies and health-workers and people with badly compromised immune systems have got theirs first; I've been reading about the vaccine and not only is it NOT live virus, it is produced using very similar techniques to the seasonal flu vaccine - which is arguably one of the safer shots out there. So I've rethought my concerns, especially after an incident last week where a hacking and sneezing student took a test and then handed it to me.)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The more I think about this, the more it makes me smile.

An artist (Florentijn Hofman, I'm guessing?) has made a giant rubber duck (or actually, a number of them) and set them afloat in various port cities and other areas near water.

(My personal favorite is the Nurnberg duck).

I guess this is one of those "I may not know art, but I know what I like." I admit, I'm not a huge fan of most modern "public" art - a lot of it is so blandified (to avoid offense) and symbolic that frankly, it's not very interesting to me.

(Sidebar: the new biology building on my graduate school's campus got some public art. Apparently there was some mandate where 10% of the cost of a building had to go for art. So they got some cast-concrete things that were supposed to represent different evolutionary stages of seashells (but one looked like the Japanese lucky poo).

And there was a big pink representation of the ancient alchemical symbol for water - many of the students (this was also the chem building) were irritated that an alchemical symbol (which they saw as an anti-science, pro-"woo" statement) was placed in front of a CHEMISTRY building, and others were simply amused by the fact that for most folks these days, a pink triangle means something different from what (we assumed) the artist intended. (I suppose it could have been a stealth political statement, albeit one that made little sense - if you're putting up a pink triangle, a bio/chem building wouldn't make as much sense as, say, Sociology would)

There was also another sculpture, which I always referred to as the "Gyro loaf" because it looked like those big, irregular, cone-shapes of meat that gyros restaurants carve off of.)

So anyway: much "public" art leaves me cold.

But I love these ducks. Partly because they're simply silly. And I think an awful lot of modern grown-up life suffers from a deficit of whimsy - what silliness we encounter seems to be a more nefarious kind.

I also like the artist's description of his work:

"The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn't discriminate people and doesn't have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relieve mondial tensions as well as define them. The rubber duck is soft, friendly and suitable for all ages!"


(I assume "mondial" means either "worldly" or "mundane" - I'm guessing Dutch is the artist's primary language. But yes, even just seeing a picture of the ducks in place helps relieve some of the "mondial" tensions I feel)

I also like that he talks about it being "soft and friendly." Not a lot of art aspires to that.

I also like his "watchdog" Max.

Some of his art is more "statementy" - the courier cars are an example of that, but even then, the statement isn't as "pointy" as a lot of art statements are, it's more a bemused, "Hey, look at this...isn't this an odd phenomenon of modern life" rather than an angry, "This is ALL WRONG! This is not how it SHOULD be!"

And while I know there's a place for the more pointed sort of art, I tend to be more drawn to either the bemused questioning or the simple whimsy.

I keep thinking, again and again, of a quotation from one of those back-of-the-magazine essays in Interweave Knits - it was one that ran in the issue that came out after September 11, 2001. The writer of the essay made the comment that she tended to think of art as being the human attempt to understand tragedy, and craft, being the human celebration of our creativity and what we can do. (By that definition, some might argue that the giant rubber duck is more craft than art)

Which may be why I tend more to be drawn to craft than art - I'd rather celebrate the good parts of being human and try to ignore the not so good parts. Maybe I'm a bit shallow because of that, a bit of a Pollyanna, but, well, there you are.

(Another of the sculptures on that site: Wasps and rotting fruit remind me a lot of this book from my childhood.
My current tote-it-around knitting project has been a lace scarf, knit in the old "Crest O' the Wave" Shetland pattern. I've talked before about how I like these old patterns; I like the sense of honoring the past and using something that has been tried before and works and looks nice.

I'm using a Dream In Color yarn (a sockweight) that has little strands of silver shot through it (Yes, it was rather expensive. Too expensive, I decided, to make socks out of, which would likely wear out before a dressy scarf.)

crest o the wave Sept. 15

Lace grows slowly, though I will say I've pretty much only worked on this lately (a) while waiting on getting, and waiting to be sure I don't have a bad reaction to, allergy shots, (b) invigilating an hour-and-fifteen exam in GenBio, (c) invigilating a one-hour exam in Ecology. (And I plan to bring it Friday for my third bout of invigilating in 10 days)

I am showing it next to my pettitoes so you can get an idea of the scale. It's perhaps 1/4 to 1/3 done.

I have to say, I like the whole knitting-while-invigilating thing. It seems very "old school" to me - almost a bit Harry Potter-ish. I tuck the ball of yarn up under one arm, tuck the end of the scarf under the other, and walk about the classroom (to make sure there are no "roving eyes" even though I have made up "Form A" and "Form B" with scrambled questions so someone attempting to copy from a neighbor would get the wrong multiple-choice answer, and a totally nonsensical short-essay answer)

No one ever asks me what I'm making, though.

crest of the wave close up.

Here's a close-up of the pattern. If it looks a bit "off" in places, that's simply because it's not blocked. I've been very careful to count yarn overs and such to make sure I didn't get off track.

I think you can maybe see a bit of the silver sparkle in that shot. It's very hard to see, even in the yarn - you have to look for it.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

One of my favorite cookbooks-to-read is Jane and Michael Stern's "Square Meals." It's a book of past recipes - some of them still good, some of them just stuff people don't make any more. (There's a whole chapter on Jell-O).

I remember in the "Ladies' Lunch" section, they talked about the "Pink Parties" Lily Pons used to have....all the food would be pink, down to chicken salad dyed using pomegranate juice.

And to this, allegedly, Ms. Pons invited recruits from the nearby Army base. And fed them her pink lunches, apparently in her mind this would raise morale.

And the Sterns report that she would flit among the soldiers waiting in line for their food, and squeal to them, "Eet ees FUN to eat PEEEENK food, no?"

I have only heard one recording of Lily Pons that I can remember ("The Bell Song," from Lakme), but I can imagine her squealing over the FUN of the PEEEEENK here:

Hello Kitty PC.

Oh, that is SO VERY PINK. I know, some people will be utterly horrified by it but I have to admit, the part of me that appreciates good tackiness (the same part of me that loves when people go all Griswold House with their Christmas decorations) really loves this. (Pity it's a fairly low-power machine; I could see replacing the Dell genere-box in my office with this and blowing my colleague's minds. Though I can hear one of them, upon seeing it, shaking his head slowly and saying, "Only you, Erica. Only you.")
Another thought for the day:

jewelry is now my lipstick.

By that, I mean those "rules" that I referred to back in August.

If you don't feel like clicking, the rule in question is:

"3. Wear lipstick. It feels great, and it’s fun, and all too often we depend on other people to make us feel good and show us a good time. Get yourself some lipstick, and every time you apply it, remember that this is one of your rules of life: to show yourself a good time, in your shade, on your terms."

But you know? Lipstick is hard for me to remember. And I tend to have it all chewed off by the middle of my first class (and reapplying it, ugh). And it does feel kind of weird to me, not having worn it all my life. (Though there is now a product they are calling "lip stain" that intrigues me...is it really as long-lasting as they claim? Does it not feel like wax sitting on your lips? And - does it contain any kind of horrible chemicals?)

But anyway. Lipstick doesn't work all the time for me. But jewelry - that's different. I didn't formerly wear much jewelry, or even, really, ANY (save for a ring that has sentimental value and that I wear every day anyway).

But these past couple weeks I've made more of an effort, once I'm dressed but before I run out the door, to go through my big box o' jewelry (and I probably need to store it in something better than an overgrown tackle box - though, then again, a house thief might not immediately recognize it for what it is)

And you know, I have a lot of nice jewelry. Not "nice" in the sense of being expensive or valuable or made with precious stones, but "nice" in the sense of being pretty and interesting and going well with different outfits I have.

So, I've taken to wearing jewelry more often, and wearing a bit more jewelry. Today I have on a long rope of freshwater pearls, most of them dyed a bronze or brown color, which goes nicely with the skirt I have on. The freshwater pearls came courtesy of my dad - I have a lot of jewelry he's given me; he traveled a lot in the Southwest in his research days and used to like to stop in to trading posts where there were Native American jewelrymakers selling their artwork (and yes, it is artwork - it's not the cheap, mass-produced stuff, it's the stuff people make one-at-a-time and sold for a fair price and supported their families that way) and buy gifts for my mom and me. And he also gets a catalog from a place called House of Onyx, and periodically will buy "lots" of stuff they sell - I think he bought a dozen or so of the freshwater pearl strands and then had us pick the ones we liked best (the rest wound up being Christmas gifts to female cousins and nieces).

I'm also wearing a funny little bracelet I bought the last time I visited McKinney - they were having an art fair going on and while it bugged me that the sidewalks were even more congested (and I almost didn't find a place to park), there were interesting things to look at. One of the artists was a woman who made jewelry out of old Scrabble tiles, either decoupaging or wood-burning on the blank side of them. The bracelet has a tree (the bare branches - it's a winter tree) woodburned into it, and then it's coated with polyethylene finish. It's on a leather thong (and it's a bit hard to fasten the clasp, especially since I wear the bracelet on my right wrist - my left hand is my non-dominant hand and it's not as good at doing fiddly things like closing jewelry clasps).

But wearing the jewelry does make me feel good. Partly because I like how it looks, partly because some of the pieces I have remind me of happy times.

So maybe I can rewrite rule #3 for myself:

"3. Wear jewelry. It's pretty, and it’s fun, and all too often we forget about the little things that make life pretty and fun. And it can remind you that you have people who love you, even though they may be far away. Or that you do sometimes have time to just go out and have fun and buy "treats" for yourself. Wear jewelry, and every time, remember that this is one of your rules of life: you are worth taking the time to fuss with pretty-but-not-totally-necessary things."
Remarkably unmotivated today. (Grading 35 exams, then 22 student research proposals, then 22 more exams in a couple days can do that to you). Thank goodness I have a bit of a break in grading now.

I do have things I have to get done. The chapter review, for one thing. And finishing the grant proposal and walking it around. And typing up the AAUW minutes and re-writing the arglebargle bylaws because the National Leadership has decided that It Must Be So.

(Being one of a small-ish number of computer literate folks in a group is not good. You get stuff handed to you: "Could you type this up, and keep it on your computer...you know, just in case it needs to be updated? Oh, and e-mail a copy into the National leadership by the 23rd.")

***

The issue of reputation as a professor is an odd one. I don't really know exactly what mine is. (I will NEVER, NOT EVER visit "Rate your professors," which is a website that is essentially a student slam-book for their profs. It's anonymous, for one thing. And for another, they have "hotness" ratings. Now I ask you. If I were "hot," I'd actually deliberately tone it down in the classroom as much as I could, simply because the thought of where some of the young men's minds might go in the presence of a "hot" female professor....well, it's a distinctly icky idea to me. But even with that - the whole idea that there is this celebrity-fueled expectation of "hotness" makes me cranky. The culture of celebrity in this nation has wrought many bad things, and the idea that some students have, that profs should be "entertaining" or "attractive" rather than "intelligent" or "good at explaining things" is just one of them.)

I suspect my rep is not as bad as I think it is (at least some days). I think I do have a bit of a reputation for being a tough grader on writing. And for being hard-nosed when it comes to plagiarism.

(When I caught that plagiarized paper last year, I went into class the next day, and in what I thought was a very calm and controlled way, explained that I was not handing papers back just then even though they were graded because there was an incident of plagiarism I was having to investigate. I did observe that I was "very disappointed." The next semester it came back to me (via students) that I walked into class and everyone could tell how angry I was.

Well, maybe. Maybe because I didn't have my "normal" classroom demeanor (just one tick less bouncy and goofily enthusiastic than Abby Sciuto). I was VERY quiet and spoke with very little emotion - which is usually what I do when I get very angry; I get quiet and don't talk much, because I'm using every bit of self control to avoid losing my temper (I used to have a very hair-trigger temper and used to be good at blowing up, but lots of work has got that under control)

I do know there's another faculty member here has attained the enviable position of being known for giving incredibly tough and hard tests, being really hard on students - and yet, he is almost universally loved.

I am not quite sure how that works. Perhaps part of it is simply his personality; he is viewed as "one of the guys." (Also, he teaches the classes that are the favorite topics. Botany is generally a harder sell; the theory-and-math-laden ecology is an even harder sell)

I can't do that, nor am I quite sure I want to. I've always been a bit stand-offish by nature (I need one of those XKCD t-shirts that says, "JUST SHY. Not antisocial. (You can talk to me)." And, oh hey, they have one of my all-time favorite comics on a shirt. I need that to wear the first day of Biostats, next time I teach it...(I'm not brave/foolhardy enough to wear the one that says, "SCIENCE. It works, b*tches." Though some of my colleagues probably would.).

I'm not very comfortable in big groups - never have been. I think there's the fear, a residuum of grade-school days, that the group may turn on me. (Well, I did have one GenBio class a few semesters ago that kind of did).

Really, I think with most profs, the classroom demeanor is partly an act - partly something put on a bit to deal with the stress of being in a large group of people (most profs, I think, are actually kind of shy people, and are not that good at the sort of hale-fellow-well-met human interaction that other careers - say, a salesperson or politician - requires).

(One of my dad's former grad students used to tease him about his "classroom voice" - "You're using the 'classroom voice,' again, Dr. Corbett." The funny thing is, I catch myself using my "classroom voice" at times. I mean, when I'm not in the classroom.)

I know in the classroom I am (generally) more "on" and enthusiastic than I am in real life. A big part of it is nerves; I tend to get more gabby and be a bit of a Golden Retriever when I want people to "like" me.

(A lot of my problems might be solved by getting over the need to be liked. But again, I blame my Miserable Childhood for that; not having a lot of friends and fearing that playground groups are plotting against you (because in at least several occasions, they were) will do that to a person).

I'm not really a "different" person outside of the classroom; I am just quieter and more subdued and generally not as prone to the bizarre misunderstandings that sometimes happen in class (Where a student asks a question and I am all, "oh my gosh what the heck?" and I interpret the question as some deep metaphysical thing and I wind up talking about cosmology or the limitations of ecological models or the calculus or something, and it turns out the student is confused because I made a typo in the handout. I suppose my tendency to go off the deep end there is because I want to "look smart," but really, a lot of the times, questions don't come across as simple questions to me).

But I do wonder (and sometimes fear) what the students think of me.

"Oh wad some power the giftie gie us. To see oursel's as others see us!"

Though then again, maybe like so many things we might wish for, we really wouldn't want it once we got it.

Edited to add: because the second part of that Burns quotation is: "It wad frae monie a blunder free us, An' foolish notion."

Though maybe being freed from one's "foolish notions" would not be so great. What if a singer read one bad review of him or herself, and decided to stop singing? Or what if someone who thought she dressed well overheard a "friend" talking about how dowdy she looked? (Another's thoughts on this passage from Burns)

Monday, September 14, 2009

I decided to wear the new cardigan today - it's cool and rainy, the high today is only supposed to be in the 70s.

I'm wearing it over a black Empire waist jumper and white t-shirt (I couldn't get much more creative than that color-wise at 6 am; it was a bad night of sleeping for some reason). It still looks "bulky" on me, but whatever. I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just a "bulky" person by nature and I can't quickly or easily (or perhaps, even possibly, given my bone structure - I have a really wide rib cage and broad shoulders and it is NOT all fat and muscle) change that.

Still, I think in the future, all sweaters will be either shorter or longer than this one. I think the length (well, as well as the fluffiness of the yarn) contribute to the appearance of bulk.

I'm putting grades on an exam I gave. I saw one of my students yesterday at the wal-mart (she was cashier; that's one of the perhaps unfortunate bits of living in a smaller place; you tend to run into students at times when you'd rather not think about school). She asked me if I had graded the exams and if they were "terrible." (I had graded them but not totaled the grades).

I hate it when people say that before I've totaled up the grades.

And the exams are not GREAT. there are going to be some pretty disappointed people. But then again, there are a number of scores in the 80 percents and one 94, so it wasn't an impossible exam.

(I am still undecided on to what would be worse for one's evaluations: to give ridiculously easy exams and have the students score high, but think they are being patronized, or to give really tough exams that they don't do very well on (but hopefully some realize that the prof's high standards means that they think the students can do well on the tough exams)).

I tend to err on the side of toughness even though it makes grading somewhat painful.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I kept wanting to photograph the in-progress "Angee" socks (from Innovations in Sock Knitting), but could not figure out how to stretch the cuff without doing the tricky and risky (because you can drop stitches) maneuver of putting the partially finished sock on my foot.

But then I realized today I could stick one of my drinking glasses in the partially finished sock, and while it's not quite as wide as my calf, it's wide enough to show the pattern:

angee sock

I'm really enjoying knitting on it; it's one of those "just one more round" patterns where you want to keep going on it because it's fun to see it develop. There's a nice rhythm to it.

And I really like the yarn - it's a Fibra Natura yarn, 100% wool with a nice tight twist, and the autumnal colors are very pretty and soothing to look at.

I like this sock book a lot. The socks in it are complex, but not ridiculously complex.

And I found a pattern that would work "out of the box" for my "yellow stockings, cross-gartered" - the Wannida sock pattern in the book is made so it appears to have a series of overlapping ribbons on the sock (the illusion is formed with carefully placed yarn-overs and decreases). And I even have some super-brilliant-yellow wool and bamboo blend sock yarn in my stash waiting on the right pattern!

So, they're not knee socks. That's okay, I never wear knee socks anyway, and I always wear socks with trousers so no one would know they weren't knee socks. (And anyway, few if anyone would get the "yellow stockings, cross-gartered" reference as it is, unless I explained it to them. But *I* will know, and that's what's important).

So I think those are going to be my next "complex" socks.

I think having a stash is good. Even if you're not worrying about the Apocalypse. Because I don't live near a yarn shop, everything has to be obtained from afar, and so being able to dig in and find just the right thing for a pattern has a particular serendipity to it.

***
Speaking of worrying about the Apocalypse: that show I mentioned, it seems that being a mechanical-minded sort is the main skill that they think is needed. (And also the felicitous finding of, oh, things like helium canisters, just lying around)

I don't know, I kind of disagree with that. I *still* think that if society collapsed, those of us living near rural areas - where we could catch fish (and crabs; I learned last week there are tiny crabs in Lake Texoma and though they don't have much meat on them, I'm sure boiled up they'd be edible) and snare rabbits or squirrels and find wild foods and grow our own food would be ultimately more useful than having, say, solar panels. (Not that I'd reject solar panels were they available; it would be nice to be able to run a small lamp for reading at night without having to make one's own candles). But I think in my mind the "pioneer" model, rather than the "Mad Max" model, seems to be the way to survive. (But yeah, you'd probably need a rifle. If for nothing else to scare off those bigger and stronger than you bent on taking fruit you spent a week drying for the winter. Then again, if everyone was working to dry their own fruit...maybe the rifle would really only be needed to fire up into the air to scare off bears.)

But whatever. Maybe I just think that because I have considerable pioneer-style skills but essentially no "Mad Max" skills. (And sadly, I look nothing like Auntie Entity.)

***

The current Clapotis continues to grow. I'm still working on the "increase" section; to do this as a rectangular scarf knit on the diagonal, you increase up to the desired width, then do a section where you balance increases with decreases so it stays the same width, then the last section is more decreasing than increasing to get the second point.

Sept.13 clapotis

I wound up switching from the casein to wooden needles; for one reason, the endcap on one of the casein needles came loose and I'm going to have to figure out the best glue to reattach it (somehow, I don't think Elmer's - which is itself made from casein - will work). But also, the casein needles were sufficiently slippery that I kept dropping stitches and that is annoying.

These are an older set of wooden needles. I got them from a friend of my mother's. They were HER mother's; when her mother went into a nursing home (Alzheimer's, sadly), Helen knew no one else in her family knit, and so she passed them on to me. There were a number of wooden needles (as well as some wooden crochet hooks, some of which looked handmade), some older plastic needles (red and white; I wonder if they might have been from WWII?) and a few dpns (not a full set) that were red white and blue - all colors on a single needle (a few left, I suspect, from the "patriotic" sets sold during WWII). And there was one set of metal dpns in a small size that I do use regularly for socks. Otherwise, I don't use the needles much. But I like having them.

One of the nice things about good tools is that they can be passed down. I know men who have their grand-dads' hand tools, cooks who have knives passed down in the family (And I actually have a mezzaluna that belonged to one of my grandmothers). My mom has a set of tiny, incredible carved-bone crochet hooks her grandfather made for her grandmother, and a pair of scissors that were her mother's. It's a nice way of remembering the past and feeling connected to it.

And a good tool is a good tool, no matter how old it is. I did take and run these needles through my hair a few times before starting to knit with them to oil them up a bit (the natural oils in your hair are good for wooden needles; I've also rubbed needles down with wax paper to make them a bit more slippery).

It's kind of sad that the "tools" so many of us work with in our careers (computers, lab equipment, etc.) are things that become obsolete rather fast and can't be passed down. (No one will ever say they wrote their dissertation on their grandfather's computer, unless Grandfather was still living and made a loan of his new Macbook or some such).

Again, I think that's why doing low-tech stuff in my free time is valuable to me. That I can use tools and techniques my ancestors would recognize, even if they would be totally bewildered by what I do a lot of the time during my work days.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I had a whole post written about seeing an episode of "The Colony" for the first time ever, and my thoughts, and I realize they're not that different from what I said earlier, long before I had ever seen the show.

So here's the teal deer version (tl:dr, from the internet convention when someone basically spills their guts and it's too much for people to read):

the whole idea of being trapped in a warehouse with a bunch of other people and having to try to depend on them for survival makes me not so much want to be a survivor. At least based on the people there. Lots of unpleasantness, offered up in the name of "toughening people up." Hell is, indeed, other people.

Also, what skills I possess (making bread - heck, making yeast for bread, making clothing and blankets, etc.) are apparently pretty useless in a post-apocalyptic future. Again. Not so much wanting to be a survivor in that situation.

So I feel kind of unsettled now. I think I need to start a new project to calm myself down. Or cheer myself up. Or something.

Eh, I'm sure it's the typical play-up-the-drama-for-the-audience thing in part, but I really don't want to test out how well I'd survive the end of the world if it was going to be anything like that. (Why don't they do one featuring people out in the country - where there are fish in the streams and berries and acorns and the possibility of raising food? That seems a lot more likely of a survival option to me. Besides, I know what plants are edible and what are not, and that would actually be a useful skill.)